Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Natural and Opinion Time

To circumcise or not...hmmm..
I really appreciated the comments and insight that was shared last week regarding my opinion time poll. I thought I would get a lot more feedback though..It's one of those issues (for lack of better word) that I know people are either completely indifferent or have very strong view points on. I'm not sure where I fit in...For both my older boys...I didn't give it a second thought. It was just something you did. I honestly don't remember if we were asked at the hospital..I'm sure we were...
I don't remember having a strong view point though..It was just..natural. Then we met Diezel. I remember the first diaper we changed, I was a little like,,"whoa"..then I moved on and didn't give it a second thought. However, the nannies at the guest house in Ethiopia were very opinionated. They were disgusted by it..They shook their heads and claimed the twins family must not be Christian. I think this was the first time I started thinking differently about circumcision. I never would have "judged" it either way. I never looked at it as a religious thing. I certainly didn't circumcise my boys due to my beliefs..I don't even know why I did..other than it was just "natural". When we got home to America we asked our pediatrician abut it. He said it's not routinely done anymore and he won't perform them unless they are medically necessary. Our biggest reason to want to was..So Diezel felt like he fit in. He was already obviously different color wise, do we really want him to have another thing separate him from the other boys in the house? Then..we also had Gedese with us. (the pregnant Ethiopian woman I brought home to take of for a year) She, like the nannies in the house was disgusted. She would often talk abut it. It seems the more she talked about it though..the more protective I became to keep him intact. She would say things like, "Let me do. I do it. In Ethiopia the mother's mother does it..I do it for you"...We had no medical reason to do it. My doctor wouldn't perform it. I sure as heck wouldn't let Gedese do it...So, what did I do? I am proud to say..nothing. He is still intact and that is the way he will stay..unless for some reason it becomes medically necessary or he chooses later in life. The more I was pushed or told it was " disgusting" or "non-christian"..the more I started to question the whole thing. The more people wanted to judge my son by whether or not he was circumcised the more resolved I became to how unimportant it really is. So, if I have another naturally born son, would I choose to circumcise? Truth is..I don't know. I do know..I would give it way more thought than I did with my two previously born boys. What started for me as something that just seemed "natural" has become way more unnatural in my heart.

I know that this is a sensitive topic to many...My goal was not to offend anyone or start a controversy..I just really respect and appreciate different view points and love wisdom in areas that I seem to know little about.

So, again..thank you for all your input last week.

This weeks OPINION TIME topic...

Again, remember when you answer to the right-your vote is anonymous.


Be honest.


Anonymous said...

I voted in your happiness poll. I'm posting anonymously because I'm just not that happy but I'm working on it. It's a process, I suppose, and it's mostly up to me. But I've always been a sees life as a "glass half empty" type person.

About the circumcision stuff, I don't feel I can tell people they should or shouldn't but parents should really research both pros and cons. I have two adopted boys. One came to us circumcised, the other came to us intact (we left him that way). I love them both and they are both just fine. They also don't care that the look different down there (they notice, they are close enough in age to bathe together, but the difference is no big deal to them). But I did want to address the Christianity issue. I know circing in a Jewish thing, but certainly not a Christian thing, and I can't believe so many people have given you grief over it. It clearly states in the New Testament that circumcision is unnecessary. This link was sent to me when we adopted our youngest and it has some good biblical passages on the subject - http://udonet.com/circumcision/christian.html .
Lastly, I can not believe that a family member (mother's mother) would ever be the one to circumcise a child. That scares me beyond belief.

steffany said...

Thanks for the link. I now will be armed:) The grief mostly came from a cultural standpoint..I think so much of it..is more rooted in culture than the religious reasons...but not separated..you know? I think that is what she told me..that the mother's mother or it could be the father's mother..I forget...but apparently they are typically performed by a family member or an elder type person.

And as far as being happy...I get you