Thursday, July 15, 2010

Disconnected Families...

How to start this....hmmm. Well, I guess I realized something this weekend. It hit me like a freight train. I was holding my 3 month old nephew Lincoln for the first time on I was soaking in that wonderful baby smell, watching him do my favorite baby stretch (you know the stretch they do as they're waking up and you're holding them. Their little butts stick out and their hands are by their head..they normally fart doing this stretch), and listening to him giggle..I realized how wrong/sad it is..that this was the first time I've held him and how wrong/sad it is that my niece Annerson(almost 2) really doesn't even know who I am or more importantly I barely know her. We also had my husband's cousins and their children come this weekend. I almost cried when Laura's daughter walked up. I barely recognized her. Our children all played so beautifully. I wanted to freeze the moment. Family together. Ah...absolutely wonderful. I am so used to wearing my wife hat, my mom hat...but somewhere I forgot that I am a daughter, aunt, sister, niece and granddaughter. I don't think I'm alone either. I think as a society we are forgetting. We are forgetting community, family the importance of roots! Yes, I understand kids grow up, they move away from the nest, they find their own way. This is important it really is...but I can't help but to also think about what it was like 200 years ago or even 50 years ago. I would have probably been at my nephews birth, my mother-in-law and my husband's ailing grandfather would be with us. My children and Annerson would be more like siblings. My own 2 sisters who I barely know would be my closest friends. I also think more than ever before; family dysfunction has become our scapegoat, our reason, our justification for our disconnection with each other. Past hurt, family junk, our need to want to protect our children from the garbage..which for obvious reasons is valid...Whatever the reason reality is... There is a disconnection that is happening in families, communities and in my own life and it becomes more apparent the older I get. My desire to want my family closer also grows the older I get..I want huge family Christmas gatherings, Sunday dinners..I want to see Lincoln and Annerson grow. I want the desire to care for my aging parents, I want cousins to be best friends, I want my much younger siblings to know I will be there for them, I want my kids to care for me when I'm older...I want connections...and I starts here..I need to work harder, try more, reach out matter how messy family's still beautiful.

Adam and his cousin Laura! I love this woman. I wish we lived closer. Wise, beautiful and filled with grace.

Not even half of us roasting smores. Laura and her family have been hosting Ukrainian orphans
for the last few years. We had the privilege of meeting 3 of them...Incredible

My nephew Lincoln...He stole my heart. Most peaceful baby I have ever met and he did my favorite stretch all the time! adorable niece. I wish I would have spent more time with fault. She is amazing. Sings twinkle twinke little star with gusto (at least that is what I was told;) Seriously though...she radiates the love that is poured into her by her parents!

Adam's cousin Sarah and her daughter Chloe...I had the privilege of going to Texas when she was born. The cutest baby! And Sarah...right from the start a confident and amazing momma. Sarah is the strongest woman I know. Her other daughter is Cailyn...none of my pictures turned out of her...she was constantly on the move...I wish I had more time to get to know both of them, because Chloe definitely forgot me:)

I love this picture. These three beautiful children have something in common...They were orphans.

We also had the absolute privilege of spending time with Adam's cousin Jay's (Laura and Sarah's brother) wife and kids. He was recently deployed for 6 months. Candace opened her home to 9 of us for a week. She was a rockstar. I so wished she was my neighbor. Funny, strong, loving...Love her and her beautiful kids. She would inspire me in so many ways.

her husband (Jay) is a pilot and a, basically He is awesome! No that's not him. Just some random air force guy..who is probably my kids the tour of the base...

Devon...their son. I don't know where to start..Everyone wants and needs a Devon. An incredible kid...because he has incredible parents. Miss me some Devon
Candace with one of the super twins. The twins were a delight. So cute. So sweet and I love this shot of portrays her beautifully! She loves her kids. She loves being a mom..She plunges 100% at all times

The two of us...being mommas...Miss her.
I think I feel so wrong/sad..simply because I know I'm missing out. Our family is amazing and I desperately want to know them more.


Beautiful Mess said...

sigh...totally know what you mean

Paula said...

Oh, how this resonates with me! We spent a week in June with my family: I have three sisters and one brother and six zillion nieces and nephews and simply the BEST parents and parents in-law anyone could ever have. I miss them so much, and we have never lived in the same state as our family ever since the day we got married in 1986. Tom's brother and his family live in Michigan, so we don't see them that often either. :( I'm thankful for my Omaha cousins so we have at least a bit of family nearby.

Jacqueline said...

We used to call it "the booty stretch" when our kids were babies! Love it!!! So glad I'm not alone in that!! (that's one of the reasons I read you, btw. Who else talks about the booty stretch?!?)

How lucky you all are to have had these get-togethers. Your kids will remember them. They'll know that they are related to special people and there is love in their big, extended family.