Thursday, January 31, 2008

5 Weird Things About Me Post!

Okay Brandi, you asked for it. Promise you'll still like me after you all know the truth?

1. When I laugh I snort.

2. If I squeeze my belly it looks like a pound of ground beef.

3. I ran away and joined the circus (true)

4. My front tooth is removable (really freaky) I lost my original in some guy's head while stage diving at a concert.

5. I like the smell of skunks

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Code

I have so many thoughts going on right now. I am having a hard time trying to formulate the words to explain what I am feeling. I had a friend call me the other day and asked what is up since I haven't posted and what I have posted in the last week or so has been pretty lame. After a brief laugh I realized I blog in code. So here it is:
No post= swimming in my thoughts and praying it out.
Lame posts= I am not ready to swim in my thoughts and pray it out, I just want to ignore it.

I'll let you know the rest of my codes upon figuring them out. As my hubby tells me, it's really hard to speak Steffany:)

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Uncle!

Alright I give. I will post something......

Tomorrow.

Goodnight my sweet blog reading friends:)

Friday, January 25, 2008

And the Grand Total Was.....

$92.40 from Old Navy!


The most expensive items were $7.24 for my sweater and Twin A's winter coat. The average cost per item was under $4.00!


Why?

Can anyone tell me why my Black Lab licks cloth material. Is she missing some essential vitamin/mineral like couch fiber or pillow thread? She licks constantly. She sleeps in my room and all night I hear lick, lick, slurp. It kind of freaks me out, like nails on a chalk board type noise.

Caught in the act. That pillow used to have tapestry on it. She licked it off.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

How Much?

I love to bargain shop! How much do you think I spent on:

Twin A
4 pairs of pants
3 shirts
1 hoodie
1 winter coat

Twin B
1 pair of leggings
5 dresses
1 sweater
1 shirt
1 pair of tights

My soon to come in August niece or nephew (I'm a first time Aunt:)
2 dresses if it's a girl
1 zip up jacket if it's a boy
1 sherpa jumpsuit for either girl or boy
1 jumpsuit for either girl or boy

For Myself:)
1 sweater

As you can tell I quickly got over my should I or should I not buy anything for the twins. So, 24 articles of adorable clothing. How Much do you think I spent?

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

I'm Divin' In.

A few days ago I cleaned out my incredibly small closet and found Marion and Emmanuel's outfits that I had bought for them. After a few tears fell, I folded them up and tucked them away. The day I had bought their outfits is the same day I found out Marion was sick. It was also the same day I decided to walk in faith and buy them in the first place and I started telling people we had six kids.

I had to go to the mall yesterday for an errand. As I walked by Children's Place my heart started pounding hard. Should I? Should I buy the twins an outfit? No, not yet. I looked the other way and ignored my heart. Then I walked past Baby Gap, again my heart started pounding hard. Should I? Okay, I'll look but I won't buy anything. That lasted for ummmm 1 minute. I saw 2 Product Red beanies. I picked them up, I put them down, I picked them up carried them around, I put them down again. The lady asked me if I needed any help? Yay lady, I need a lot of help. I picked them up again walked in faith over to the register. The lady asked me if I had any kids. With my heart pounding, I blurted out, "yes, I have 6 kids!"

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

There You Are.

Do you like the new blog title? I was amazed that all of my ideas for a new title were already taken. I will get rid of my old one this week. If you can't find me don't worry, just google "clip of white girl doing a dance" and much to my extreme embarrassment my blog will come up.

I was going to try to sell my van this month it only seats 7, but my dear hubbyman got in an accident when he was home this weekend. He is okay, but my van needs about 3-4 thousand to repair it. Any suggestions for a new vehicle? I think our choices are kind of limited since we will be a family of 8!

Monday, January 21, 2008

Strange Place

I'm at such a strange place right now. My heart is feeling every emotion possible. More importantly though I feel peace and excitement about our TWINS!!!!!. I wish I could share a picture with you.
They are precious. I've come to accept that if it is in God's will for them to be a part of our family that NOTHING on earth can keep that from happening. There is one boy and one girl they are almost two. That means three kids that are two. WOW! Not in my plan, but Proverbs 19:21 ( I quote it often) Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.

My heart is heavy with all that is going on in the adoption/blog world. So many people are either shutting their blog down or taking them private. Which means only invited people can read.
The reason is valid and I respect everyone's motives. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with wanting to protect your family. There has been a lot stirred up in the adoption community lately.
A huge thing is the lost referral of twins that someone experienced. Adoption is a hard enough process anyway and then you find out about a disheartening story of a lost referral due to information on a blog. But there are more factors than just a blog. I will not go into details because they are not mine to give. Here are a few safeguards you can take:
1. Find out if the country you are adopting from allow you to post pictures of their kids. Remember even though you have claimed them in your heart and have been referred to them, they are not "yours" until they have gone through all court proceedings. Or on the safe side wait until they are home.
2. Find alternative ways to fundraise. If you need to fundraise for you adoption that's awesome just do so outside of your personal blog.
If you are still concerned here are some extras:
3. Take your last name out of your blog address.
4. Change the identifying names of yourself and you children out of your blog. Maybe just use first letter.
Please know that the family that lost their referral had a lot of things happening that most of us don't. I would like to also mention that they also have chosen to keep their blog open.

I want more than anything to tell you all(whoever that maybe) that your blog matters! It matters to more than the invited or the people that you know leave comments. Last year I was a stay at home mom with four kids looking for something. Then I found it. I found you! I read your blogs everyday gaining strength, wisdom and courage. Your blog, your words, your heart spoke to me. It told me that Yes, I can make difference, I can handle more than I thought and the little things matter. I read as you went through your journey, I cried when things fell through, I rejoiced when simple things like your Chi was replaced. You became my highlight. You don't know who's reading your blog, you don't know who's life you are touching. It might be me or some other woman who found the friend they've been looking for their whole life. So, please never underestimate your thoughts, your words, your heart or your blog.

So as for me and my blog we will forever remain public.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Private vs. Public

There is a lot going on right now in regards to making your blog private or keeping it public. My heart has been heavy with this for a few days. There is much I want to share with everyone. It is all so intertwined with our journey. I will post about this in the coming days.

I Survived!!!!!!!!

Yes, I survived the 9 girl sleepover. Will I do it again? Even though everything inside of me screams NO! The truth is; I probably will. The reason- No, it's not because I'm super mom, or cool mom, or crazy mom. Only 1-2 of the girls that came know God. Is there any better reason than that to open up your home? They are all wonderful girls! Each completely unique and all from very different backgrounds. Their ages ranged from 5 (first sleepover) to 10.
I think we had a good time. The one thing I would do differently is: Plan more activities. Last year on Faith's birthday there were six girls and it went a lot more smoothly. I had planned tons of stuff they decorated t-shirts, made tye dye bags, each made and decorated their own cake, pinata, and arts and crafts. They were busy. This year, I didn't plan much. They did the pinata, made beaded necklaces, and watched a movie. This allowed for a lot more time with out purpose and without purpose you have CHAOS.
For the most part everyone got along great. No one cried, so that is a huge success. Here are a few highlights:
1. A started a new tradition this year. Words of admiration bless and last longer than stuff that comes in a box. So, before each girl gave their gift to Faith they told her what they admired most about her. It was so sweet and blessed ME so much to hear what her friends had to say about her. After every girl spoke, Faith would give them a big hug.
2. I forgot about the cake on Saturday night so we ate it for breakfast. (along with smoothies, eggs and ice cream)
3. They loved swinging from the rafters.
4. They were sleeping by 12:45. I slept with them
5. At 5:00 am I heard a little voice in the dark say, "Is anyone awake yet?" By 6:00 everyone was.
6. My girls lead everyone in prayer for dinner and breakfast.

Lukas wearing the leftover pinata parts.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Help

I'm an hour and a half into the sleepover with 9 girls.

Oh MY

Friday, January 18, 2008

The Hair

What's your opinion?

A Whole Lot of Faith

Today I woke up with a whole lot of Faith. She was in my bed, starring at me with her big hazel eyes. "Mommy, it's my birthday". "Yes Faith it is baby, guess who's home?" "DADDY!" and suddenly everything is better.
It's amazing what three straight hours of hard sleep, a hug from your husband at 4 am, and a pair of big hazel eyes can do. Yes, Adam is home for the weekend. Yippeeeeee! And it's Faith's 7th birthday today. Yipppeeeeeeee!

The moment you meet Faith you can't help but love her. She is filled with enthusiasm and joy. She is the perfect mix of sugar, spice and everything nice.
Faith, I love you so much!

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Apology Accepted

Do you know how painful and humbling it is to get down on your knees and ask your children for forgiveness? It's hard. Not hard to humble yourself and ask for forgiveness, but painful to know you hurt them.

This whole day has been emotional and overwhelming. From the totally insignificant stuff to the life changing stuff.

Day started at midnight then 2am and again at 2:45 and kept going like that until my alarm went off at 6:45. Nothing new though, I tend to wake up a lot anyway.
I had a conversation with someone this morning that broke my heart. Her friend was adopting twins from Ethiopia and was to get them next month. Long tragic story short she not only lost her twins she will never be able to adopt from Ethiopia ever. This family has a passion for orphans and has done great things to help the people of Africa. So, after my initial disbelief my thoughts turned towards my possible referral of twins. Could they be the ones that were taken from her? I was suppose to be getting a picture sometime this afternoon so I would have to wait to find out. Then on to the big hair appointment to get my hair dyed back to blonde. After almost five hours I finally left. Am I blonde? No! It went terribly wrong. Oh well, completely insignificant- I just wanted to go home and check my email! Adam called as I was leaving the hair place.
Adam says: Did you check your email?
Me: No, I just left I have to go get the kids.
Adam says: NO! get to a computer as fast as you can.
Me: You saw them!!!!!!!
Adam says: You have to find a computer NOW!!!
Me (screaming) Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh!

Then it hit me all at once. Fear, panic, doubt, loss, pain, and grief. What should have been the most exciting ride home became one of intense crying. I can't explain it. All the emotion of Marion, Emmanuel, and D just poured out. I got home. I didn't want to look at the picture, because I knew once I opened that email my heart could face the reality of breaking all over again. Do I really want to walk down this path again? Am I strong enough to handle another loss?
I opened the email. The first thing I noticed is their birthdate. They are closer to two. Okay, so they are not the lost referral of my friend's friend. Then I look down at the picture. I glanced at it and closed my email. I went and cried some more, a lot more.
The kids came home, time to finish the 44 cupcakes, one big presentation, dinner, calm a sick fussy two year old, and stuff away my thoughts. (Thanks Stephanie for all your help). And then it happened presentation got lost (a week's worth of work) due tomorrow, big leak in Jace's room, etc.... And I lost it!!!!!!! I am not a yelling mother, sure I raise my voice, but I don't scream. I screamed at McKayley for losing her presentation, I screamed at Faith for not listening, I screamed at Jace for involving me in the leak crisis, I even slammed the door. Then I called Adam and cried some more. Even while I was crying I was so angry at myself. So, I cried harder. And after I was all cried out, I sat my kids down and one by one apologized for being a horrible example of how to act. I apologized for taking my emotions out on them. I asked each one for forgiveness. Even now, I cry. They were so gracious and hugged me and told me how much they love me.
Since then, I have stared at the twins picture. They are beautiful. The more I look all the fear, panic, doubt, loss, pain, and grief are melting away. Will these two beautiful children be mine? I don't know. I will leave behind the pain of last year and move forward with a grateful and joyful heart. I will not let Satan take hold.
I would love to share the picture with you all, but I can't. The Ethiopian government doesn't allow it until they are legally yours.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

TWINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My heart is pounding out of my chest! I'm screaming through my tears. I can't sit down and I can't stand up. To wound up to even do the "dance". Scared, excited, overwhelmed with emotion. Filled with hope but also fully surrendered. Please pray for us! We got a call today!

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Snot , glogs, and stuff

Poor Lukas! He is feeling miserable and looking awfully pitiful. He has had a cold for over a month now, which means it's probably a sinus infection. I've put off going to the Dr. for awhile. I wanted to see if he could fight it on his own. He gets about 3-4 a year. Lots of snot. So much snot his face is red and chapped.

Have you heard of glogging? Didn't think so. I didn't know either until I read Brandi's blog. Do you want to know what it is? Then visit Brandi
You won't be sorry. I think Brandi and the "glogger" are involved in some sort of comment competition and since I'm fiercely loyal, I just couldn't bring myself to comment. I got your back Brandi girl.

And for everyone who asked, yes that is our house. It was built in the 70's and is as unique as they come. All the ceilings are made of tongue and groove wood, with open beams. The house has 11 skylights and windows everywhere. A catwalk, dirt floor in the atrium, 20 foot stone fireplace, and some rocking rafters that are higher than 24 feet. Plenty of clearance to hook up a harness and rope for adults to swing.


View of the kitchen from the catwalk



Rafters that big kids can swing from

We love it here and feel very blessed with what God has given us. The house definitely fits the Bosters. It sat on the market forever waiting for a family crazy enough to try and make it a home.
Well, I'm off to go sneak in my kiddos rooms to stroke their hair and pray for them. Love you all.

Patience

I just got this email from our adoption agency:

I wanted to let you know that your dossier has been sent to Washington DC to be authenticated and should be in Addis Ababa by Monday. We will let you know of the next steps as soon as we can.

I thought it was already in Ethiopia. Oh well. At least it's a step in the right direction. I'm just waiting to see what God has planned for us. I find comfort in Psalm 37:4-7

4 Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
5 Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:
6 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;



Monday, January 14, 2008

Swinging From the Rafters

Imagination

What game do you think they were playing? It involved a pirate hat, ropes, three pillows and a scarf.


Whatever it was, they played it for two hours!

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Lessons

We had an awesome MiMa day yesterday. MiMa is my husband's mom. We are her legal guardians. She has moderate mental, emotional and physical disabilities. We don't have many good days with her. Her behavior is extremely unpredictable. Which is so sad to me because she truly has so much to give. She is a talented musician and seamstress. Mima could be an amazing teacher to her grandchildren and she is when she chooses to. Yesterday she taught the girls how to use the sewing machine. It was such a beautiful sight watching them soak in every word of instruction she gave. My heart was full of joy. I know they will always remember and cherish the time they had with Mima yesterday. I really hope the fellowship they had with her shines more brilliantly than all the pain and broken promises that they have grown to know from her.



Friday, January 11, 2008

Random Updates

1. Adam is in Los Angeles again to work on the film Red Canvas. It will be his second home for the next 3-4 months. Words can not express how much admiration I have for my husband. God has planted in every man's heart the desire to be a hero, warrior, and to live a life of adventure and risk. Many men unfortunately have given up on their dreams. People have asked if it's hard to have him gone and scary to think of the time and money sacrifices that have gone into this project. Well , yes it is hard and scary, but isn't that what life should be. I would only be worried if we were tired, bored and complacent. Life is an adventure, taking risks means your living out of your self placed box. And fear? Well, there is no place for it.
2 Timothy 1 :7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

2. My mom's best friend who I mentioned in an earlier post, went home to the Lord before Christmas. She was diagnosed with cancer only six months ago. She left behind a husband, her son in highschool, an older son and several grand children. I will miss her. She has been in our lives for years. She along with my mom were both survivors of brutal pasts. When we first started seriously pursuing adoption, I went to her for support. She was an African American woman who was a strong presence in her community. I wanted to get her feedback on transracial adoption. Her words will always stick with me. There was a time when she strongly opposed it, she knew a professor who adopted trans racially then after witnessing the power of love and how it transformed this child she grew to realize that a loving home is better than no home. She was my strongest supporter. Elizabeth referred to me as " her white angel baby who was sent to help her people." We would talk about how a total reform needs to happen. That is a whole other post. Prejudice is alive and well my friends!

3. On Christmas day, we opened a package from momma Jo and inside were the most beautiful handmade scarves , one for each kid; including the 12 year old boy we were to adopt from Missouri. When I saw his name on the scarf, I broke down. I think I cried for an hour. I cried for Grandma Jo who made it in faith that he would be with us at Christmas, I cried for my children who grew to think of him as a brother, I cried for my broken heart; a mother's heart who grieves her child and finally I cried for him. My tears poured out for all he may never know.
We had a chance to see him a week or so ago. It was harder than I can even begin to write. I longed to hold him. We took him to lunch and shopping. We hope to take him to church with us on Sundays, his new foster mom isn't a believer. Please pray for him and that God will continue to pursue him.

4. We mailed our dossier to our new agency. I'm trying not to think about it. You know when you feel like you've been pregnant forever and you finally decide this baby will never come....
Well, I guess I've adopted that strategy, maybe if I don't think about it, it will actually happen. We were told that our child/ren will be home in three months. I don't know who they are, but am believing and walking forward in faith.

5. The money was raised for the Uganda Orphan Children Rescue Christmas project. This blessed me beyond measure. People were saved! It doesn't get any better than that! Orphan Fund was so touched by the reception they got from the people they are going to keep supporting them. And by the will of God I will too. What an awesome testimony to what God can do through willing hands.

6. I'm going back to blonde next week. Wish me luck!

Thursday, January 10, 2008

I just mailed nine slumber party invitations and already I'm asking myself, "What were you thinking"?!

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Flashback

Big hair, mullets, Queen's song "another one bites the dust", disco lights, and limbo. If you're younger than 30 you are probably thinking, "what?" Yeah, but all you 30+ you know what I'm talking about. That's right rollerskating! Those brown skates with four wheels and neon strings.
Rollerskating. Where girls did there hair big and boys always had a pick in their back pocket. If you were lucky a boy would ask you to slow skate. I was a young girl of nine when skating was big, so I was never asked to slow skate. As I matured skating became "uncool" and I never skated again.

Until..........

Today! My son and I went on a "date" to the local skating rink with a homeschool group. It was awesome! Some things never change. There will always be the disco lights, limbo, the brown skates with four wheels and neon strings, the guy in a mullet, the girl with not so big hair and the slow skate!





Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Good News

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I just had the most wonderful week! We were so blessed to spend time with one of my favorite people in the whole world- Leah! My sister-in-law. I have been so privileged to watch her grow from a 9 year old girl into a beautiful woman who truly desires God. She is my best friend. Leah married an amazing man three years ago. When we first met Lex, we loved him right away. We knew he cherished her. He flew to Missouri to ask Adam permission to marry his sister. We gave our blessing, but decided to have a little fun with him first. I picked Leah and Lex up at the airport and arranged to meet Adam at a seedy location. There Adam was waiting in a dark parking lot with a huge board with nails in it. Lex got out of the van to meet his future brother-in-law. Adam proceeded to tell him how special Leah was and he better look after her.
What made it even better, there was a van full of young teenage men with a video camera yelling, "fight! fight!"! The van full of thugs were disappointed when the Adam and Lex embraced. LOL!
Many of you have asked if I was pregnant because of my tears and strange cravings. WELL.........
No, I'm not but Leah is! I'm finally going to be an aunt!!!!!! I'm so excited. Maybe all my weird symptoms were a foreshadowing of her pregnancy.
So my sweet Leah, I'm doing the dance for you (privately). I love you so much.