Monday, January 21, 2008

Strange Place

I'm at such a strange place right now. My heart is feeling every emotion possible. More importantly though I feel peace and excitement about our TWINS!!!!!. I wish I could share a picture with you.
They are precious. I've come to accept that if it is in God's will for them to be a part of our family that NOTHING on earth can keep that from happening. There is one boy and one girl they are almost two. That means three kids that are two. WOW! Not in my plan, but Proverbs 19:21 ( I quote it often) Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.

My heart is heavy with all that is going on in the adoption/blog world. So many people are either shutting their blog down or taking them private. Which means only invited people can read.
The reason is valid and I respect everyone's motives. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with wanting to protect your family. There has been a lot stirred up in the adoption community lately.
A huge thing is the lost referral of twins that someone experienced. Adoption is a hard enough process anyway and then you find out about a disheartening story of a lost referral due to information on a blog. But there are more factors than just a blog. I will not go into details because they are not mine to give. Here are a few safeguards you can take:
1. Find out if the country you are adopting from allow you to post pictures of their kids. Remember even though you have claimed them in your heart and have been referred to them, they are not "yours" until they have gone through all court proceedings. Or on the safe side wait until they are home.
2. Find alternative ways to fundraise. If you need to fundraise for you adoption that's awesome just do so outside of your personal blog.
If you are still concerned here are some extras:
3. Take your last name out of your blog address.
4. Change the identifying names of yourself and you children out of your blog. Maybe just use first letter.
Please know that the family that lost their referral had a lot of things happening that most of us don't. I would like to also mention that they also have chosen to keep their blog open.

I want more than anything to tell you all(whoever that maybe) that your blog matters! It matters to more than the invited or the people that you know leave comments. Last year I was a stay at home mom with four kids looking for something. Then I found it. I found you! I read your blogs everyday gaining strength, wisdom and courage. Your blog, your words, your heart spoke to me. It told me that Yes, I can make difference, I can handle more than I thought and the little things matter. I read as you went through your journey, I cried when things fell through, I rejoiced when simple things like your Chi was replaced. You became my highlight. You don't know who's reading your blog, you don't know who's life you are touching. It might be me or some other woman who found the friend they've been looking for their whole life. So, please never underestimate your thoughts, your words, your heart or your blog.

So as for me and my blog we will forever remain public.

17 comments:

Brandi said...

And for that, I am grateful! I know I'd get to look at it even if it were private, but we just met last month so who else would have missed out on it?!

Love ya,
Brandi

PS Is it strange that I feel like I'm introducing you to the family on "the group" and I'm so glad they'll know and love you too!?

emily said...

Love your words- wouldn't have met you without this crazy blog world:)

emily said...

Look at the time that you left me a comment and the time that this posted--- 1 minute different! We were reading each others blogs at the same time....ahhhh:)

Fantastic Four said...

Ok, now you've made me feel guilty! I am up and running again!

Wife to the Rockstar said...

That is why I am staying public too. I did change the name for some privacy. I think it was a good compromise.

Stepping Out of the Boat said...

Glad you're staying up...I am SO SUPER EXCITED ABOUT THE TWINS!!!! I can't wait to see how the Lord works!!!!

Lisa said...

Thank you for this. I too have been so discouraged with many of the blogs I frequent going private. I do understand but I feel like you do, that what they say matters so much. I can't believe how "connected" I feel to these women. The world needs to "hear" the stories. Thank you again Steffany for sharing and explaining.

Christine said...

Thanks for the encouraging words. I'm glad I found your "public" blog.

amber said...

Uh-oh... I think I have missed the whole "going private" debate! I am definitely out of the loop!

Oh well... I guess that means I stay public! :)

I agree with you about the inspiration that comes from reading about other journeys. I am so, so grateful for all the times I have been challenged, encouraged, uplifted and sometimes just plain entertained by various blog-posts. It is such a great way to meet like-minded friends from all around the world, too.

Leah Dooley said...

Give me a P!

Leah Dooley said...

Give me a U!

Leah Dooley said...

Give me a B!

Leah Dooley said...

Give me a L!

Leah Dooley said...

Give me an I!

Leah Dooley said...

Give me a C!

Leah Dooley said...

PUBLIC! IN THE HIZZLE!

Christin said...

I just "found" you. And it's so ironic to me...b/c I've really been considering going private. AND wanting to ask someone about it. I see you have a post entitled private or public...so I'm off to read that. ;)