Tears and Laughter

Well....here I am crying (again). Sometimes I wish I didn't cry so much, that I reserved my tears for something I guess that was profound or at least I could announce boldly that, "I am not the type" to cry easily....but I do. I cry a lot. The crazy thing is, I laugh a lot too, I just tend to do so simultaneously or at awkward moments. I remember being 17, just getting out of a Mexican jail only to end up in a jail in Phoenix(unrelated) and then the next day forgetting to put the emergency brake on in my parents car and having it roll backwards slamming into our stone wall around our house thus totally the car and the wall. I just stood there...laughing hysterically, then crying uncontrollably...back and forth I went, from laughter to tears. I know this may seem like such an off the wall and completely weird story to share, but I learned a lot about myself that day and the nature of things in general.
1. I cry a lot
2. I laugh a lot
3. I have no idea how to act when I feel so completely out of control.

Fast forward 20+ years....Not much has changed. I still cry a lot. I still laugh a lot. The one big difference. The one thing that truly matters now is...I don't have to be in control. I know who is in control and I trust HIM completely. That doesn't mean that I still don't struggle with feeling so completely out of control that I don't cry and laugh at the same time. I do. I am now as I type this. People ask me, "How are you doing?" The only thing I can say is, "Crazy good!"

When I sat down to write this blog post I had one purpose....To share with you all the beautiful blessings that have been happening in my life.

I was crying just thinking about them all. A week ago I posted about needing help to get back to Africa. In 24 hours 4 amazing friends donated more than $300.00. I cried as each donation came in. The amount was insignificant. That you believed in me was profound. Then the next day- Dawn and Cathy from FunkyFish blessed me with a gorgeous bracelet to raffle off to help raise $.
I had 2 beautiful people donate for a chance to win it. Thus bring our total to $340. Months ago, I listed my wardrobe center on craigslist to sell to help make the 5k for Project Hopeful. We ended up raising the money we needed and I forgot about the listing, then two days ago someone came and bought it for $150! We were now at almost $500. I cried. Then Amy Smith, BEMM's VP and photographer posted a beautiful blog about having coffee- We ended up with raising almost $300 more. Again I cried. Yesterday, I was blessed with the most amazing beautiful quilt, that was handmade by Clara Lawrence to help raise the money needed. I listed it on EBAY in complete faith that someone will buy it for the price I set. I cried when I stared at the picture of it. She perfectly captured the very essence of the heart of BEMM. To me, it is priceless. If that wasn't enough then Dawn and Cathy from FunkyFish once again blessed me. They made 10 one of a kind necklaces for BEMM for me to sell. Wait- There's more! Today, I went online to check ticket prices and I found tickets to Ethiopia from Kansas City for $830 a piece. Which means we are half way there! I cried. Then got motivated. We only need $800 more to get our tickets! We can do this! HE can do this by today. I know it.
.....Then I talked to my mom and she sounded horrible. My dad just had a heart attack before Christmas( He is doing well) and now my mom is sick. I will not go into details, those of you who know me well enough can put the pieces together. I also watched my man and son leave the house yesterday morning to knock on people's doors and ask if they needed their driveways plowed or cars cleaned. (yeah, we own a Photo company with 50 employees, but times are hard and he needs to make money outside of our company to pay people) LOVE HIM! NOT MANY MEN WOULD DO WHAT HE DOES! Now...I laugh, then I cry...back and forth I go.
Like a Merry go Round...Out of control.

This post was not what I intended. I wanted to write something to inspire you to want to help. I basically have until today to raise the $800 needed to purchase the tickets. I have 10 beautiful necklaces to sell, an EBAY auction of the quilt, the raffle of the bracelet, having coffee with Amy, and the ever growing Tacky $ Africa headbands....

But...I got nothing to inspire you. I have my tears and my laughter and this crazy merry go round I'm on. I am crying tears of joy for everyone who has believed in me and helped, I am crying tears of sadness for my momma and the only life I know with her. I am laughing at how amazing GOD is and how HE uses the broken. I am laughing at how blessed I am and the friends I have. I feel so out of control...Yet, know HE has it! My mom, my family, my trip, BEMM, our company...all of it.

And in all of this-He uses my tears and my laughter and my out of control feeling to make something beautiful....

You can help any so many ways!
1. The obvious-Pray for me:)
2. Help spread the word of why we are going back to Ethiopia
3. Enter the raffle of the bracelet (any donated amount counts as an entry)
4. Buy a necklace- They are $50.00
5. Bid on the quilt or share the link on your facebook!
6. Share coffee with Amy
7. Buy a headband!