Hey Mister/Ma'am...Do You have a Quarter?

I have been trying to figure out how to even start this post and why is it that so many of my posts I struggle with how to begin them. Maybe it's because I constantly find myself in the land of being out of my comfort zone. I spend so much time trying to find the right words or sentence to begin my post with. I'm not an idiot and I do realize that the majority of people decide if they are going to continue to spend 5 minutes of their lives reading a blog within the first two sentences....well, at least I do.

I remember crying out desperately a few years ago wanting to be used by my Creator. Yes, I do believe being a wife and mother is the ultimate calling. I have lived that to it's fullest for over 15 years and am unashamed and blessed. I do know beyond any doubt that He also has asked more, because I have begged to be whoever and whatever He needs. I remember after our daughter in Liberia died and I felt that feeling..you know...the tingling, the uncomfortable sensation that permeates your heart. The organization needed 5k for a new baby home. I had never raised money before, in fact I was terrified of fundraising and sales. Fast forward to now-
I have raised and given over 50k since then to different organizations, adoptions, refugees and needs. I have sold cars, fed my family only rice, and basically did what was needed to make a difference. Those of you who truly know me..know how uncomfortable I am in talking about this.
I do not have a legit "non-profit" for a reason....I have never, ever wanted this to be about me...I don't want anything I do to be about BEMM. Not once in 3 years have I asked for a dime for my adoptions, my mission trips...I cried when my church brought us meals after I brought the twins and sick pregnant lady home with me.

Here it is.....I need help. I need money. I am asking everyone to chip-in. I am suppose to leave on Feb 28th with my photographer and BF Amy Smith, the director of delivering Hope-Jaime Glandon, ICU nurse Jodie Herring, a video guy named Phillip. Our goal? To document and serve the people BEMM has come to love and admire. We will be visiting the center we are building with Doma, the women from the Sisterhood Project for Project Hopeful, The Orpans of Zeway with Funky Fish, A village in Assela through my partnership with MOPS international and to just serve who we come across. By going...BEMM is able to continue to raise funds for several organizations.

I guess what is hard...is I am asking you to support me. I'm not asking you to support this cause or that....I am simply asking YOU, to help me and that is hard. To be perfectly honest-

I guess that is the thing I have trouble with. Separating stuff in my heart. It's easy and blesses me to ask people to step up and give to something greater than myself and their-selves.... I know by going on this trip I will come back equipped to keep going on and raising for orgs, but there's that part that is strictly going because it fills ME.
I think I do what I do because it brings life to ME...I hate that. I want to do what I do because I am not in the picture...does that make sense?

So here I am asking you to bless me and support my trip.....and trust me to keep working my butt off answer the call I have been given...

So, hey mister...can you spare a quarter?