Tuesday, January 18, 2011

"If you have the faith of a mustard seed"

I don't know about you...
but that verse is by far the most encouraging and simultaneously
the most aggravating verse ever.

(well Proverbs 31 is up there too)

I see myself as a woman of faith.
A woman who refuses to see the practical and sensible
A woman who believes in the impossible and witnesses miracles everyday.

This past week
I was humbled to see a mountain move.
BEMM (Amy and Myself)
had absolutely no financial means to get to Africa.
To say my family is going through some lean times...is a mild statement.
I have never asked for any help financially for my trips, adoptions, ourselves ever.
I have either sold stuff or done without. Period.
Over the years my family has sacrificed more than I can explain to help the visions I have in my heart to help others.
When I first asked for help for my trip back to Africa....
you have to know..how hard that was and how many people I asked to advise me.

It all came back to this verse....
He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

If I have so much faith that mountains will be moved to help everyone else I support....
then why do I lack the faith that God would move a mountain for me?

It's like, I can see the value in this person or that person, but am unable to see that same value in myself. I guess the thing is...I know I am loved and valuable in His sight, but I feel so raw and ugly in front of you. Why? That is so warped. That leads me to believe that I really don't know my worth and that my faith is not even close to a mustard seed. Why can I see beauty in everything else and work my butt off to support someone I don't even know....yet, I feel so inadequate asking you to help me get to Africa to continue to do what I do?

We are so close to purchasing our tickets.
A little under $500 away.
Yet, A feel so weary and defeated.
I feel this way every time before something awesome happens.
You know me...I am a
getter done type of girl
I hold on till the last moment..
then I hold on some more.
I don't quit
or say
It's not "God's timing"
That's like saying, "Sorry, can't share my bread, don't know when I'll get more and haven't gotten clear direction from God if I should share."

Point is....
I feel defeated
it's the wrong time
slightly like a beggar...

Yet....I have the faith the size of a mustard seed and I know and believe in miracles.
I will not give up, give in or make excuses...
I will not wait for the fat lady to sing...
I am going back to Ethiopia Feb 28th.
Reality say's I'm $500 short
and I'm tired and sick...
Maybe I should just quit and justify....

I have 5 weeks and the faith of a mustard seed
In 5 weeks 1000's of mommas will die due to pregnancy related causes
and if I need to beg for the rest of the money to go.....then it's worth it!
Because Every Mother Matters

We have only 7 funkyfish necklaces left.
We have 24 hours to hold on to our ticket prices.

We are 7 necklaces and 3 paintings away to cover our ticket costs.
That's it!
I used to think my faith moved the mountain....
but what I learned is...
faith+action moves the mountain....

The miracles I have seen..from the $15k for doma, 2k for Workinesh, 5k for Marion's house, 5k for Nile project, 3k for birthingkits, 5k for Project Hopeful, 5k in adoptions.....all of those started with my mustard seed faith , your beautiful hearts and God's power!

I have the faith
I need you.
We need $500 by tomorrow for our tickets.

I have these 7 beautiful necklaces at $50 each

Can't buy a necklace then please enter our raffle to win this bracelet. All amounts help...

Any amount enters you to win this...A $50 donation buys a necklace and enters you....

Or you could do nothing. Chances are you never even read this far..and I may not raise the $500 needed to travel...You may not be a part of the miracle tonight and you may see me cry tomorrow, but you know what? I have the faith at least the size of a mustard seed and I don't quit.


Andrea said...

He still performs miracles!!! PRAYING!

Jeff said...

Don't ever quit!!

B said...

How do we buy a necklace and/or enter the raffle for the bracelet?

B said...

Where do we buy a necklace/enter the raffle for the bracelet?

steffany said...

Hi B- There is a link on the right of my blog labeled, "Help BEMM get to Ethiopia". If you want a necklace donate $50 and put necklace in notes to seller section. If you just want to give whatever and not care about the necklace just donate any amount at same link and you will be automatically entered into the bracelet drawing.
Thanks for asking and I'm sorry I wasn't clear

Anonymous said...

Thank you Steffany...and sorry for commenting multiple times, I was having trouble figuring it out obviously. :)