Aw Shucks...COMPLETE:)

Recently I was awarded two different blog awards. Both awards came from two beautiful woman who have definitely touched my heart many times through their blogs. Needless to say it was a huge honor to be mentioned by each one of them.

The first award was

I cannot even begin to say enough about Lisa (the beautiful blogger who sent this to me). I remember being really new to blogging and posting something about our skateboard ministry. She left a comment encouraging us in what we were doing. I had no idea anyone was actually reading my blog. I went to her blog daily for months to find out who this person was, but she never posted. Yet, she would still leave encouraging comments on my blog from time to time. I was thrilled when she actually started blogging regularly. Oh my word...This woman has a HUGE heart for the LORD. I love her!!!! If you aren't reading Mountain Top Memories then you are missing some nuggets of wisdom. So sweet Lisa, thank you from the bottom of my heart for the Sunshine Award. I really needed a little more sunshine!

The second award was

The sweet friend award
(Someone that brightens your day)

This award was given to me by a new friend. Jen never fails to leave a comment on my blog. This woman is a WARRIOR! She is a rare woman. She is sweet, raw, honest, and STRONG. To me she is encouraging, uplifting, but also not afraid to speak truth to you. Whenever I go to her blog, I am always left feeling challenged. I love her heart! I love her spirit! She is a "BEAUTIFUL MESS"

Now the fun part is I get to pass these on . Technically they are two different awards so that would be 20 people and each person is to then pass it to the same amount of people. (and of course links to them) I am also suppose to list 10 things that make me happy for the Sweet Friend Award. I love this! You can never dwell too much on joyful thoughts. I don't know about you, but I also LOVE learning about new blogs! Yeah, you all know I'm not a big rule follower. So..here's how it's gonna go. I am clumping it all together. To me the Sunshine Award and the Sweet Friend award go together beautifully. I will pass this on to 10 bloggers who hopefully will share 10 happy thoughts, pass it on to 10 other bloggers and link to them:)

10 happy thoughts:
Jesus
flying in my dreams
My man
Each of my children
Robust laughter
All things dorky
nature
adventure
Africa
friends

Now 10 bloggers who bring sunshine and sweetness!
1 BECKY...I LOVE HER. She is totally random. Completely sincere. A huge dork. She never gives herself enough credit, which makes her even more endearing. She is an amazing mother. One day I will actually meet her!
2 AMY...MY SOUL SISTER. She is brilliantly unique. Outspoken. An amazing artist. A real friend. Wise and opinionated!
3 MISSY...EARTH MOMMA. She is truly authentic. She is someone I would love to have a good cup of coffee with or maybe a glass of wine. I could sit for hours and just soak her in.

4 KELSEY...I PRAY MY DAUGHTERS TURN OUT LIKE HER. She is a beautiful young lady. 1 of 9 children. She oozes passion. She offers a beautiful perspective on adoption.
5 JENNY...I WANT TO BE MORE LIKE HER. Even in the midst of a probably incredibly busy life she seems to always remain grounded. A mom to 9. She is a beautiful balance of fun and structure.
6 JEN....EVERYONE NEEDS A FRIEND LIKE HER. She is so easy to relate to. Yet, there is a contagious passion about her. Her love of God, family, and people in need are so prominent.
7. PAULA...POSSIBLY SEPERATED AT BIRTH. Do not ever under estimate her. She is a strong woman. She always rises up to the occasion. An adoptive mom to twins as well..I enjoy reading her heart and honesty about her life.
8. KAMINA...THE ESSENCE OF FAITH. This woman is filled with good ol' faith. She is steadfast. Unwavering. Beautiful and strong. She is the Proverbs woman. I love her.
9 DONNA...MY TEACHER. What can I say about Donna? I have so much to learn from her. Beautifully obstinate. Opinionated, but wise. Gracefully submissive to her FATHER. Always desiring growth. Yet, humble.
10 EMILY....BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT. She has a powerful yet quiet spirit. She is unshakable yet totally moldable. Awesome mom. Incredible wife. You will be blessed by her.

The Dirty Broken Cross

Have you ever had an event effect you so personally
but you know nothing personal about the event?
It may be a story you read in the news, something you hear at bible study, a rumor among friends. Other times it's simply an object.
A worn out teddy bear lost in a parking lot.
How did it get there?
Who does it belong to?
Is it important?
You drive down the highway and you see three crosses together.
Who were they?
What happened?
You can't help but to think about the people you will never know.
It affects you.
Three years ago I heard of a young boy, someone's son who was hit and killed by a car right in front of his house. I remember trying to process what that meant.
The loss of a child.
I cried.
A week later a mile from my house
I saw a cross.
I saw a name.
I saw a teddy bear.
This is where the boy.
A son
was killed.
This is the house
Where a mom was crying.
That cross
his name written on the cross
and that lone little bear
belonged to the crying mom inside of her house grieving her little boy.
I drive by their house everyday.
And no matter what I can't help but to pause.
I pause whatever mood I am in
My kids get silent.
And I can't help but to think about his momma.
It has been 3 years now
and many changes have happened.
A year after the cross was placed
I noticed it became crooked.
The bear was weathered and looked more like the earth than a once loved toy.
Gradually more and more bags of stuff were left by the curb for garbage pick up.
A bat.
A bag of toys.
A child's bed.
About a year or so ago I noticed empty boxes by the now dirty cross.
Boxes that were the symbol of a new baby.
Now when I drive by I can't even read his name on the cross.
It is on the ground
and the teddy bear is gone.
There is a toddler jungle gym out front and a stroller by the door.
I wonder
what is she thinking?
How is she doing?
Does she miss him?
I want to knock on her door
I want to tell her that he did not die in vain.
That I noticed.
That I care.
I want to fix his cross.
Paint it shiny white again.
And
that I will remember him.
I want to tell her that everyday for 3 years I have driven by her house and thought of her.
It reminds me that no matter how dirty the cross is
whether it's laying on the ground broken
or
painted shiny white
it doesn't matter.
What matters is what happened on that cross over 2000 years ago.

Um...THIS IS NOT OKAY

1 in 11 women in East Africa dies of pregnancy related causes. One in 11 babies will be orphaned due to lack of basic stuff that ALL MOTHERS should have. BECAUSE EVERY MOTHER MATTERS. Yeah....I'm ready to tackle this one momma at a time. Are you? More coming soon.

Daily Peppers

Onions
green peppers
or
red peppers
jalapenos peppers
or
Serrano peppers
coconut oil
(all organic and fresh)

Since I am giving up adding salt to my food, bottled hot sauce and jars of jalapenos.
I had to figure out a way to add that fire I love on my food.
So what do I eat this with?
everything!
I put this on brown rice.
I put it on my eggs.
I eat it just as it is.
I put it on homemade tortillas
on my chicken.
I LOVE IT!
Not to mention the amazing benefits

"Even before Peter Piper picked them, peppers provided a plethora of potential positives. The health benefits of peppers, both hot and sweet, is surprisingly long. They have been linked to metabolism, insulin levels, natural cold remedies, pain control, weight loss, and endorphins. Capsaicin is the active ingredient that gets the most recognition. Though it is only found in hot peppers, the sweet peppers share the other nutrients, such as vitamin A, vitamin C, beta-carotene, lutein, and zeaxanthin."

Peppers are great for cardiovascular issues as well!

Try it
You might like it.

Hammer Time

Is it just me or does Diezel's new do make you want to sing Hammer Time?

God is Like a Warm Fire

More words from my son Jace-
He wrote this the other night.

I just got back from watching Avatar in 3D, and I come home. I see that a fire is started in the fireplace. I walk and sit in front of the Fire for about 20 minutes to half an hour. By the Fire I feel warmth, but it is not like "uh, it's so hot! Turn on the AC," but more of just a warmth. And when i walk away from the fire, I feel cold and weird, empty, almost like the Fire was cleansing and that I was missing something if I was not near it. God is almost like the Fire. His presence is so awesome, that if a Fire can hold my attention for 30 minutes, God can keep it for an eternity. Just staring into God. And being AWAY from Him is sickening. If staring into a Fire for a few minutes and walking away from the warmth can make you feel cold and empty, imagine what it will be like for those unfortunate on the day of judgement. God is like a Warm Fire. A large Fire, that grabs you and makes you feel warmth, and being with Him forever in Heaven is more exciting and entertaining than Avatar 3D times Infinity. God is Almighty

A Life of Dreams

I just now realized I missed my Friday Friends post this last week. It's not the best way to start off a new "tradition". Ooops. Has it really already been 5 days since my last post?With this new year I really wanted to post more. With all of my sickness the last few months I came to view this silly blog as something much more. This silly blog is my journal. It really is not only the record of my life but my children's lives as well. What I write is important. Not for me, but for them.
I was blessed to spend the night with my man at a bed and breakfast last night. It wasn't until this morning that he fully explained to me what the last three months have been like for him. He said there were many hours he spent on his knees praying for God to give him strength. I haven't blogged a lot about that time, but it was a very real possibility that I might die. He was so strong during that time that I mistook it for nonchalance or ambivalence. My heart became hurt and when your heart hurts it becomes hard. And when your heart is hard it becomes bitter. I had become increasingly bitter towards my man in response to my hardened heart that was hurt because of his pain. How twisted. My husband is hurt for a very real reason and I am then hurt by my misunderstanding of his hurt. Typical, huh? Rewind- Last week I found myself crying on my bathroom floor with my man by my side. All of his hurt and all of my hurt combined was unbearable. God started to repair us there. We talked about my jealousy of the visions in his heart and his fear of the visions in mine. We prayed for God to align the dreams in his heart to the dreams in mine. We prayed that both of our hearts align to God's heart and that He removes anything that is not HIS WILL from both of our hearts. This week has been interesting to say the least. He has spent many hours in editing his first film. I was invited to become part of an amazing group of women that love God and desire to be used by him. I have never allowed myself to be apart of something outside of God, my marriage, and my family. I look forward to being a part of a group of women who mentor each other and pray for one another. It is by no accident that during this time I was connected to this group. I have prayed more this week than I have many weeks. And man have my prayers been answered in ways I couldn't have orchestrated. I laid down the desires of my heart and asked God to make His known. I prayed to make my husband's desires my own. God is moving. He is working through our hurts and through our fears. My man is incredible. Even in the realm of losing me these past 3 months he is open to God's call for me to return to Africa. Even in the time I felt like I needed my man the most I was open to God calling him to more. He made a movie, bought land and dreamed big. Two different visions. One God. One Will. His Will. It is hard being married to a dreamer let alone two dreamers with different dreams being married to each other. I love my man. I love my God.
I trust my man. I trust my God. I love living my life. A life of dreams

Just Pictures

Did You Think I Forgot????

About the renaming contest?
Nope. Just had to really think about it
and
After much prayer I decided to name the organization

wait for it.....


BECAUSE EVERY MOTHER MATTERS

yeah there is probably something out there that may roll off the tongue easier and fit on a shirt better, but those 4 words

BECAUSE-: by reason of : on account of
EVERY- : being each individual or part of a group without exception
MOTHER-a biological and/or social female parent of an offspring( either by birth or adopted)
MATTERS- : to be of importance

together perfectly describe what our Organization is about.

Now for the winner of an awesome custom painting of her family is....
MARYANN

I Found It!!!!

It felt like Christmas here this morning. I found it!!!! I found the lost compact flash card that had all the pictures of Gedese's last week here.

Saying goodbye at the airport

Was not easy for even Christiana

or the girls

Or grandpa

We were all rather somber having to say goodbye

To this beautiful woman and this special baby that were in our lives for a year

But who will remain our hearts forever

Deep Waters

You know those times in your life you feel like you're in way over your head?
You know with each passing moment you just go deeper into the unknown
and you start to feel like you can't do it.
It is normally here at this point..
Fear sets in.
There is panic.
Doubt.
I can't go any further.
I may drown.
I am in way to deep this time.
Yeah.
That is where I am.
And it is in this place of standing on a cliff looking down at 1000 foot drop with rocks all around
when I can hear His voice telling me...
"It's okay.
Let go.
You will fall.
And when you are sucked under water
I will be glorified.
Because it is way to big
and you are in way over your head."

It's about at this time when I realize it's not about me. It is when you are struggling for air you realize how desperately you need HIM.
And no matter what you do- it is all in vain without HIM.
So you jump.
You allow yourself to be swept under the water.
You don't fight.
You ride the CURRENT.
Allowing IT to take over you.
And whether or not if you make it out
He is glorified.
Because there is no way you could do it without HIM.
You jumped in faith knowing how unimportant you are but how mighty HE is.
and
He is glorified in our failures as much as our success.
when you learn this
believe this
then it is easy
to
live in deep waters
and
jump off cliffs

It is always a mix of fear and excitement when you step out of your comfort zone.
I never know how things will turn out. Sure, I know the desires of my heart.
But it is in HIS will that I want to surrender myself.
In HIS will all things are made perfect.
I am in way over my head
and I love it
because HE can be glorified.

2 Corinthians 12:9
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Friday Friends.

I notice a lot of bloggers have weekly themes like:
Kari has Wednesday Wow Recipes

Brandi has ifast Wed
I have heard of Flashback Friday and Wordless Wed.
So many great ideas.
I thought I might start something on this blog.
Friday Friends.
Each week I want to share with you all a friend.
It maybe a blog friend, an old friend, a new friend or maybe someone that I may never know, but they have touched my life. Someone who I would love to call my friend.

This week
I want to introduce you to Donna.
I guess I have "known" Donna for almost two years.
I think *she can totally correct me if I am wrong*
she started reading my blog around the time I was bringing the twins home. I think she even opened up her house in Colorado via blog to me when I was driving across country to stay in L.A. for a few months. She offered to put all 9 of us up. I followed her blog for awhile. Amazed at how similar or families were, but how completely different we appeared to be. I didn't hear much from her until my Colorado backpack adventure this summer. Now this is either completely random or God's plan...About 6 months before my backpack trip I meet this lady at the Orphan Summit in Dallas...long story short she invited me on a 40 mile backpack trip in Colorado with 12 other women who were strangers to me. Well, not one to miss an adventure I quickly agreed to go. About a week before I was to leave I get a message on my blog from Donna of all people saying I was staying at her house for the first night. Apparently the random lady I met at the Orphan Summit was great friends with Donna and arranged for all of us ladies to stay at her house for the night. Okay stop right there! Weird, huh? Then if that weren't enough Donna herself wouldn't even be there! only her husband and 6 kids who had to deal with 12 women all but one a stranger! If that doesn't tell you something about how incredible her family is. I was floored, but disappointed I wouldn't get to meet her. We woke up the next morning to the most peaceful house I have ever been in. 6 kids, Yes, it was massively huge and they had a ton of land...but it was simple and serene. All of her children's toys could fit in a small trunk. The rooms were bare, but not cold. The house was devoid of trinkets, gadgets, and electronics. It was clean, sparse and beautiful. Her children were sweet, quiet(not creepy quiet) but a calmness was in the air. It was a complete opposite of my house. Cluttered, loud, and chaotic. We went on a morning hike guided by her children. Leading 12 women. Not an easy task for anyone.
We left her family to go on a 7 day adventure, but her home stuck with me the whole time.
Turns out I got to meet Donna after all. On our way back we dropped off her car she let us borrow. I was so nervous to meet her. A fellow blogger. Mom to 6. Two adopted. Twins as well. Her kids showed me pictures of her the morning I was with them. They told me she was a "princess" and "more beautiful than anyone". She had a lot to live up to... When I met her...she was gorgeous! I think she was just as nervous though, because she talked non-stop to our mutual friend. I wanted to feel an instant connection, but the truth was I didn't. It seemed rushed.I after all had just spent 9 days away from my family, out of my comfort zone, freezing, dirty and tired. I was so excited to meet this women. Yet, I was beyond spent. At the same time I was enamored by her and her lifestyle..okay I was mainly smitten with her son Owen who I instantly bonded with. We have kept in touch some vaguely through facebook. She doesn't blog anymore, only reluctantly if I bug her. There is just something about Donna. I want to hang out with her, I want to get to know her better. The weird thing is I know that we are completely different and we may never share a moment together that everything just "clicks" and feels right. But at the same time....
She is someone I admire and I want to call my friend.
Even in our differences
she is my soul sister.
There is a unique beauty to her.

(not Donna, but a beautiful lady I have the privilege to call friend from the hike holding Donna's daughter)

Yes. This is Shameless

I just joined twitter.
I have no idea what I am doing.
So this is my only plug.
My one shameless attempt
to have you
"follow me"
If you are on twitter let me know.
Just know...
I never know what will come out of my mouth.

(click the blue bird)
And this is it.
My only public announcement that I am a complete tweeting dork.
If you ask me in the future I will deny any and all involvement with the blue bird.

Two Less

Two different families.
Two different orphans.
from
Two different countries.
Two different opportunities to help.
Two different raffles.
Both are ending soon.
Each of them is reaching out.
Check them out.
Support them.
Pray for them
Praise God
two less orphans in the world!

Check Stacy out here


And

Check out Amy here

Toothpaste and Marriage

I had no idea that toothpaste was a part of a marriage. Or more accurately whether you squeeze from the middle of the tube or from the end of the tube was a part of marriage. I normally here a, "humpf" noise in the bathroom every morning. I have been happily unaware for 15 years that the "humpf" noise was my husband verbalizing his displeasure using an indistinguishable guttural sound from deep within. Why has Adam made such a noise every morning for 15 years you might ask....

because I am a middle squeezer and I always lose the cap or better yet I find no point in putting it back on. So while I am perfectly happy in my own little squeeze my toothpaste from the middle world, my husband is not. Who knew? So how do we plan on solving this predicament.
Me loving the toothpaste the way it is and my husband yearning for order by wanting the toothpaste squeezed from the end? I promise to roll up the toothpaste when I am finished and he promised to squeeze it from the middle when he is finished. Thus making both parties blissfully content. I can continue to enjoy my toothpaste squeezed from the middle completely unaware(by choice)of how gross this may seem to people and my dear husband can feel some sort of order in this chaotic life we live and continue to be completely unaware(by choice)of how freeing it is to squeeze a tube of toothpaste from the middle.
And there you have it...another potentially devastating marital crisis diverted by compromise.

I Need a Name (contest)

So much is happening around here.

So many things in process.
Much to be done.
First off....

I need ideas.

"Because Every Mother Matters"
is getting off their butts...
finally:)
We are getting ready to connect mommas from here to mommas in Africa.
Projects coming up.
Websites being built.
The only thing is....
I don't like the name.
"Because Every Mother Matters" is quite a mouthful.
I need ideas.
I want to change it.
Something that rolls off the tongue.
That you can see printed on shirts.
you know...
catchy.
profound
something that
say's...
???????

Oh yeah...
And for every idea you come up with you get entered in the drawing to win

A custom painting of your family by an amazing artist and incredible friend Amy.
So ignore the beautiful people in the painting and imagine what your family would look like.
By entering ideas you are helping bring their daughter home from Ethiopia!
Come up with as many ideas as you can think of.
one idea=one entry
that simple

A Moment to Remember

I tend to over analyze everything. What people say. What they don't say. A conversation I had last week. A stare. A lack of input from someone. What did they mean by that?

I pretty much try to read and dig into everything and every moment.
I only get really hypersensitive over certain things though.
Like..
Lukas for instance has said a few times lately
"Mom, I wish Diezel and Xia would go back to Africa."
"When are we ever going to be a happy family again."

Ouch.
How do I respond?
What is he really trying to say?
What do I tell the twins when they hear him?
Do I make a big deal out of it?
Is he resentful?
What have I done wrong?
Does he understand what that means?
Oh crap, how do I fix this?

Then I step back.
I stop getting into a self made frenzy.
And I look.


This is what I see

Group hugs

Brotherly chest bumps

Making silly faces while mom is not looking.

Having epic driveway races

And then I know...
It's okay.
Sometimes we say things we don't mean or understand in the heat of a moment.
We may feel a certain way during that moment.
But that one moment
is just a moment.
When all the other ones
are like these.
This is what we will remember.

Oh, what have I done....

Because I honestly didn't have enough to do....
meet Clementine:)