Monday, February 1, 2010

A Moment to Remember

I tend to over analyze everything. What people say. What they don't say. A conversation I had last week. A stare. A lack of input from someone. What did they mean by that?

I pretty much try to read and dig into everything and every moment.
I only get really hypersensitive over certain things though.
Like..
Lukas for instance has said a few times lately
"Mom, I wish Diezel and Xia would go back to Africa."
"When are we ever going to be a happy family again."

Ouch.
How do I respond?
What is he really trying to say?
What do I tell the twins when they hear him?
Do I make a big deal out of it?
Is he resentful?
What have I done wrong?
Does he understand what that means?
Oh crap, how do I fix this?

Then I step back.
I stop getting into a self made frenzy.
And I look.


This is what I see


Group hugs


Brotherly chest bumps


Making silly faces while mom is not looking.

Having epic driveway races

And then I know...
It's okay.
Sometimes we say things we don't mean or understand in the heat of a moment.
We may feel a certain way during that moment.
But that one moment
is just a moment.
When all the other ones
are like these.
This is what we will remember.



3 comments:

Becky said...

Thanks Steff. I needed this tonight. I love my girl more than anything but sometimes.....sometimes I remember back and think life was easier. I don't want an easy life though. Thanks for reminding me!!!

Cassie said...

yeah...don't overanalyze.
brigg asks to send his sisters "back" weekly...only we don't have anywhere to send them back to! :)
it's a sign of bonding, i think!!

MaryAnn M said...

i remember my daughter wanting to know when we were gonna be "done" with the new baby..."he could go home now

i am learning about adoption but alot of the comments i see about adopted kids and the sensitivity that parents have...for the most part it seems...Kids are Kids :-)

good job in seeing the situation for what it was...and letting the wave just roll on by...