I Give...

I have so much to process...I want to hit the ground running, but my body is a little hesitant. I know so many of you who have read this for awhile all have the same question....Is Steffany healthy? (Given what I went through last time)-The answer? I am great. I can't quite figure out my sleeping schedule and have been up the last few nights by 3 am. I have lost 10% of my body weight and am 98 pounds strong! No worries at all about my physical health. I hiked 24 miles in 24 hours to buy meat for a village. I feel like a warrior:) My family did amazing while I was gone. I walked through my door to not only a clean home, but candles lit everywhere and my first warm shower in 2 weeks. My family was amazing. I have been resting as much as needed and working as much as I am inspired. Thank you to everyone who has prayed for my journey and my family. I can't wait to share everything with you all. From spending the night with BEMM's first momma (Gedese), to breaking bread with my twins parents, visiting the most beautiful place on earth with doma to visit where all your donations have gone, creating new friendships....and planning a return trip beginning of March. It's not to early to begin thinking about coming. The next few weeks are going to be insane. HOLD ON. So much is happening. Not only for BEMM, but my personal life and many orgs close to my heart. I feel so humbled and blessed to be a small part of HIS work. Many times over the last few weeks I heard.."Where's Steffany" or "Steffany has ADHD" Right where I need to be. All over the place. You know that and I know that. Everything I do may seem absurd to all until you are the one my absurdity loves. One thing I learned through all this...ADHD is not a bad thing. I know this blog is everywhere. Normally...My written word is grounded and understandable...blame it on Africa, but right now..I just write.

I can think of one beautiful example- As the team waited patiently in the bus after our feast at Gadese. I sat inside holding her, Alebachew and Christiana. We cried and held eachother and cried some more. I tried to pay them for the feast which lead to more crying.
Since I don't know Amharic...but I do understand laughter, love, anger, and hatred...I chose at all times in all circumstances to do what I know...Be a dork. My heart was broken from the moment I landed with Gadese, the twins parents, etc...I escaped...I needed to laugh, cry and smile. If you are wanting sad pictures of Ethiopia to inspire you, grab you and make you want to give...Then I have nothing.This time I focused on the beauty and not the devastation. I saw the joy and not the sadness. My stories are of hope and not desperation. I leave knowing with all that I have...It's not about me. I can leave nothing worthwhile...other than my smile. For the 1000's that asked me for birr..Which may have provided a meal..What I and my traveling (doma) companions left meant more. A smile. A laugh. A song. A memory. Will I remember my last meal more than the people who were there? My last visit I wanted every dying person to have a drink of water and gave the very clothes off my back. This time..I wanted to give more. I only have one shirt and one bottle of water. I gave my heart. I gave my joy. I gave my smile. Does the dying need water and warmth or prayer and love? Which is more important? What do you have? Which do you give?
Again...I am processing...