In some ways I feel like an expectant father. Gadese has been with me since she was 6 weeks pregnant. I have been through the morning sickness, the first doctor's visit, first ultra sound, first kick. I have watched her belly grow, I have felt the baby move, and now I go to bed each night wondering, waiting to see if this is the night. I'm so used to being on the other side of pregnancy. I now know how helpless Adam must have felt with each pregnancy. He sat and watched all the changes, but never being able to really physically be a part of it. It's a strange place to be. I feel like I have no control. Not that as an expectant mother you really have control over when the baby is going to come, but at least you can listen to and feel your body. Gadese is amazingly strong, NEVER complains. I hope she tells me when it's time. Through my very limited Amharic and her ever growing English, I have tried to explain to her the signs of labor. Okay, that might sound a little stupid, a women knows when she's in labor, right? Well... When it's active, yes. I guess that's my concern, she'll wait untill she's in transition phase to tell me it hurts. Then what? Do I rush her to the hospital, or deliver here at home? You see what I mean? I'm sure most expectant fathers think this way. I guess I never thought about it from this perspective before. Gadese is definitely getting close. Her belly is hard all the time. I'm beyond excited. I only hope Adam will be home when she's in labor to take care of all the kids. I will be the only one with her, coaching her, holding her, and cutting the cord. Even as I type this I'm filled with anticipation. Lord, thank you so much for allowing me to be a part of this.
Please pray that her doctor will be able to deliver the baby. He is the one who is working financially with me. If it is another Dr. then I might have to come up with thousands of dollars.