Just Another Saturday.

Filled with...

Lassoing bandit lighting posts

Tricycle races

Painting benches

Building things with wheels

Being a Rockstar

Speeding down the driveway on the Green Machine.

I Met the Rudest Person Today.

And it was me.


Even now as I type this I'm torn between being ashamed yet justified.
How arrogant is that yet beautifully human.
Our very nature is repulsive and sinful yet we were created in His image.
Our only redemption-
Let me repeat that
Our only redemption
is
That God loves us.
John 3 16-21

What happened today that brought out my true self?
The sad thing is nothing major caused me to rear my ugly head.
I took the 3 little one's to an overpriced, germ ridden indoor playground.
When I went to fill up the mustard and ketchup cups for our food, the huge container of mustard sort of exploded/squirted all over me. On my face, in my hair, all over my clothes and the ground. Pretty much everywhere but the half inch paper cup you get.
I looked back at the kid behind the counter and said, "I don't think your mustard is working."
I kind of expected a, "oops, man I'm sorry let me help you clean it up." Instead I got a, "It looks like it's working just fine...Oh it looks like it squirted everywhere AGAIN".
I said, "AGAIN!, You mean it does this a lot?!" He kind of looked at the other kid working and snickered. I cleaned myself up with my 3 toddlers at my feet screaming for food. I then left all my mustard filled napkins right where they were(even though the trash can was an inch to the left). I accidentally dropped my half filled cup on the ground and it splattered on the floor. Quite amused I looked at them both with my mustard everywhere and said rather rudely, "YOU CAN CLEAN UP THE REST!" I walked away without mustard and sat my kids down for their lunch. Then I watched one of the kids clean the floor and it hit me like a ton of bricks! Wow. I became that woman in an instant. I felt immediately remorseful and went to apologize and was met with ummm.... indifference. My heart went to justification. The it was okay to act like that because....You can fill in the blank. The point is- It's NEVER okay to act like that because. I don't care what the circumstances are or were. I WAS WRONG! Even if the "Kids behind the counter" purposefully squirted mustard all over me - I need to respond in love. I need to respond in forgiveness. I need to respond in grace.
When I was on my back pack trip, I spent time meditating on
Isaiah 53:7
He was oppressed and afflicted,
yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
and as a sheep before her shearers is silent,
so he did not open his mouth.

Christ- who was blameless and without sin.
Innocent!
Did not plead His cause.
He who was truly justified remained SILENT!

How often when I,
me,
who is filled with sin,
can't wait to open my mouth to justify my behavior no matter how offensive it is!
So.
I met the rudest person today.
And
It was me.

Need Encouragement to Continue on.

I'm thinking I might be done with my blog. I have plenty to say, but seem to lack the capacity to write it all down. Maybe I'll get a video camera and start vlogging instead. Either way apathy is knocking at my door. My husband calls my blog, "Our family's legacy."
Talk about pressure. I wish I could say I blog for that reason, but no. I'm a little more vain than that. I write to connect. I write as shallow as this is..for affirmation, for friendship, for others to say, "I get you."

So here's me asking....
Should I continue.
If you are a lurker, this is your time to come out. Leave me a comment. I need your encouragement.
I know..
I'm fishing.

Filming

On Friday Adam filmed footage for his commercial. It was mainly shot in front of a green screen. I think Jace and McKayley had a blast.

Getting set up for a shot.

I love this one. Watching Adam behind a camera is a dream come true and then seeing our daughter in front of the camera...wow.

Adam going over the storyboards with the kids.

Jace walking into the studio. He looks so at home.

Getting the costumes just right.

Utimate Fort Building

Broken

My body is exhausted yet strong.
My spirit feels full yet weak.
My heart is burdened yet encouraged.
I am home.
Yet I am yearning for comfort.

As I climbed the peaks,
God found me in the valleys.
As I walked through the valleys,
God carried me to the peaks.

He was everywhere
when I was in the middle of nowhere.

I sought His face
as I hid my heart.
He sought my heart
As I hid my face.

My God was before me,
and I followed
My God was after me,
and I looked behind
My God was with me,
every step
and every breath
of the way.

Kicking His Butt.

This week has flown by. I leave in less than 8 hours for Colorado for 8 days! Without kids. Without my man. 37 miles. No bathroom. No showers. Just 11 women strangers. Seeking adventure and a closer relationship with God. i have been incredibly emotional(stressed) this week. If something was going to go wrong..it did. If something was going to break...it did. Satan got his butt kicked though.

Blog you later.....in 8 days!

P.S.
Please pray for our group...if you feel lead to.
and my kiddos....
and my amazing sister-in-law Leah who traveled all the way here from Texas with her 11 month old to help us out!

Random pics from Lincoln University- I traveled with the kids on Tues. to visit my baby brother on his first day at the dorm!

My dad, sister Maggie(16), brother Bobbie(18)

Rare moment.

So proud of him.

No comment:)

Trying to entertain the kids with a game of Duck, Duck, Goose in the parking lot.

Walking through the campus.

Jumping on their Uncle and his new bed!

What I saw when I pulled up to his dorm. 2nd window-Do youy see them?

No Caption Required

The Power of Perception.

Before Adam went out of town the other night he woke Jace and McKayley up at 2:00am. I was sleeping and had no idea he did this until the next morning after Adam had already left. Here is what happened according to McKayley-

"Dad woke me up at 2:00am! He told me to come outside with him. Mom, it was amazing. It was so dark and the stars were shining bright. You could hear all the frogs. It was so cool. Then dad set up the telescope. Guess what I saw Jupiter! At first I thought it was just a star with four other stars around it, but mom-It was actually Jupiter's moons."

She was smiling from ear to ear telling me what happened. This is a memory hopefully she will always cherish.

Now here is what happened according to Jace-

"I was sleeping and dad came and got me out of my bed. He took me outside in my pj's mom. The frogs and all the night bugs were so loud. Did I mention I was in my pj's?! We had to look through the telescope"

He was not smiling and I doubt this is a memory (at least now) he cherishes.

I couldn't help but laugh at how differently their perception of the 2:00am wake up call was.

It got me thinking about the power of perception and how different we all are. Have you ever written an email or blog post that you meant to have an effect but then turned out to be perceived completely differently than how you meant it.
I think a lot of times how we perceive something is a direct reflection of where we are emotionally at that time.
This incident of Jace and Mckayley was such a huge reminder to me. Lately my perception has been a little"off".

"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right" Henry Ford

My recent perceptions of myself and my life.
1. I'm exhausted.
2. I look old.
3. I feel old.
4. I'm ugly.
5. My hands are too full.
6. The twins are too much.
7. I made a mistake.
8. I'm trapped
9. Life was better when...
10. I'm a terrible mother.
11. I don't do enough.
12. My house is a disaster.
13. I need a break.
14. If only my husband was around more....
15. I don't want to get out of bed.
16. Nobody does anything around here.
17. I'm sick all the time.
18. If only I had family that was around...
19. I can't stand all the whining.
20. I have no friends.

Is this what I want? No. Then why am I buying into all the lies? God did not create me for defeat.
John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.
Proverbs 23:7 For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he..

Do my circumstances need to change?
No.
I do. My perception needs to.
I have read over the last few years on blogs of parents suffering the unthinkable their children dying or a spouse dying. There are families fighting cancer, disease, and hardships-yet their perspective is clear. They see God's hand. They believe His promises. They cling to His truth.
My life is amazing. It is what God has given me. To think of my circumstances as anything other than beautiful is a selfish perception. Yes. I might feel like I'm struggling and times might seem hard but My God is awesome!

The Kiss

Adam is gone again and so is my camera.
I miss them both.

Since I seem to be lacking both words and new pictures-I thought I would share a few old ones.

"The Kiss"

a year ago

3 years ago.

Our first family photo. That's Jace 13 years ago!


Our public wedding over 14 years ago.

Our elopement almost 15 years ago!

Close Encounter

Yesterday Grandpa Coop took McKayley, Faith and I to an animal rescue farm he volunteers at. This sanctuary is not open to the public. Nor do they breed or sell animals.
For us to be allowed in was a huge treat.
They(a husband and wife) rescue everything from lions, skunks, macaws, tigers, squirrels, and the list goes on.
They get animals at all times of the night thrown on their doorstep. They never turn their backs. She is a veterinarian and he is a postal worker. The farm is supported from their own paychecks and occasional donations. I have never seen anything like it. Everything they have is given to care for the animals. Modest doesn't even begin to describe their house. There are animals in every corner. Even a monitor lizard in the bathroom. It was intense being right next to a tiger that was bigger than my husband. The cougar Sheila literally was stalking Faith. I have never seen a predator so determined for it's prey. Yeah, I was a little freaked. Thank God Sheila was caged. Definitely not a place for the toddlers. They could have lost a hand in an instant. Now I know why it is not open to the public. I was amazed though. What this couple has provided and sacrificed for the animals was inspiring. It was an incredible experience. One that left me in awe of God's creatures and thankful that metal fences exist.

Sheila- The cougar that seriously wanted more than anything to eat Faith.

It's That Time of Year....

....for my Lyme education and prevention post.
One of my dear bloggy friend's son is on antibiotics for Lyme.
Lyme is a tick borne disease.
Why do I care so much about this?


On the right is my sister Kym holding my daughter McKayley.
Kim died at age 37. I'm turning 37 in a few months.
She was bit by tick in 1998. She developed all the classic symptoms of Lyme.
Bulls Eye rash, fever, fatigue. However at that time doctors were convinced that Lyme didn't exist in Missouri. She went over a year misdiagnosed. Her symptoms got worse. Facial paralysis and extreme pain. She was continually told it was fibromyalgia and depression. Finally someone listened. They researched and believed her. She was admitted into a hospital with a central line. She developed a major blood clot. She was eventually released, but by that time she was already addicted to pain meds. She died in her sleep a few years later. Alone. No one fully understood her pain. Including me. Too much time lapsed between the tick bite and her treatment. I miss her more today than I did when she died January 17, 2006. She spent the last few years of her life fighting to be heard and validated. That yes, Lyme does exsist in Missouri and doctors need to listen to their patients more than outdated textbooks.
Here is one of a few articles written on her and Lyme.

Creeks, Caves and Crayfish Oh My...

Brave

He skated on our mini ramp....

In spite of our visitor.

I however...
was not so brave.
I hid in the house..
waiting for our visitor to leave.

The Forgotten Room.

We have a room in our home.

I call it the forgotten room.
It is downstairs.
Unused.
It is my favorite room.
How could we forget about it?
Do we live in a mansion?
No.
Just in the pattern of life it has become an island in the house.
It never gets messy.
Which is a tragedy.
It deserves to be used.

Tonight we discovered it again.
We explored.
We enjoyed dinner in it.
Music.
Games.
Books.
Food.
Family.
How could we ever forget this room.
The room I created for creativity and discovery.
that is just down a flight of stairs.
Seriously?