Tuesday, March 29, 2011

I'm Ready to Talk About it...


I'm ready to talk about it.
The story....
the one that you may or may not know or even care about.
The thing is...
to understand it all
I need to start at the beginning of the day
but
I won't
(some things just stay in Africa)
Not to hide anything...it's just some things you can't explain.
With that said..
The last time (before this time) I saw everyone in my group jump over and dance around a cultural fire in Dorze.
I pride myself in being up for anything...this night though, I just couldn't rally myself.
I was sick.
I sat there watching everyone jump, dance and laugh.
I was miserable.
I made a promise...
The next time I had an opportunity to jump over a fire I would do so with my whole heart!
Well...
This time in Africa
I had a chance
and
I took it...
over
and
over
and
over
and
over
You get the picture?
I jumped over the fire...again and again and then some.
I got cocky.
What seemed like something I couldn't do because of my weakness
became easy
really easy...
So easy that I forgot how awesome it was.
Instead of running and jumping over the fire
I decided I could just stand in front of the fire and jump.
I became cocky
arrogant
I forgot the pure awesomeness of jumping over a fire in Ethiopia
I only thought of the number
I had 10 under my belt
I stood there
I jumped
I landed
in the fire
I
stopped
dropped
rolled
The guards came running
they patted out the flames...
I looked around at the faces around me...
I was
horrified
embarrassed
ashamed.
I jumped up
I looked at the film camera that was rolling...
"I think I broke my foot"

That was it.
People have asked me how I walked on it for 2 weeks without medical care or pain meds..
It was my embarrassment that spurred me on.
I hiked for miles on my foot.
I never complained until our flight home
It was huge
purple
and
messed up
Even then...
the embarrassment was greater than the pain.
I have now been home for 3 weeks and finally went to the doctor
Since then...I have had an MRI and XRAY.
I was given pain meds, but had an allergic reaction to them. I broke out in hives.
The Dr. says it isn't good and can't believe I walked on it for miles in Africa.
Honestly, it hurts worse now than it did weeks ago.
The pain is insane.
The meds give me hives
I am embarrassed
But....
I crushed my foot jumping over a fire in Ethiopia
I struggle with
YES
I messed up my foot jumping over a bonfire in Ethiopia then walked on it without medical treatment for two weeks and have continued to run without walking since I've been home in spite of not being able to take anything for pain due to hives and my life style bad ass syndrome
and
I can't believe I was stupid enough to jump over over a fire that many times, break my foot, walk on it without medical care, put my family in jeopardy, live in constant pain because I have a hang up with asking for pain killers and now have to see a Orthopedic surgeon.
Um...then there's the before story and after story
But..this is the story
How I screwed up my foot in Ethiopia.



4 comments:

Layla Payton said...

There are few people in this world that a person can meet ONE TIME, and NEVER forget everything you saw/know about them. YOU are one of those people. While I suggest that you refrain from catching yourself on fire, I BEG that you never LOSE your fire! You are put on this earth to be a light & you took that literally...who can blame you? You are positively contagious. You are one of my MOST favorite people, and I only hope to have half the courage (or insanity) that it took for you to jump over that fire.

Paula said...

I gotta tell you, Steffany... you are making me 100% glad that I stuck with my instincts and didn't try to haul my much older body over the fire in Africa. It DID look fun. Hope your foot gets fixed up soon. Hugs.

Anonymous said...

I'd give you encouraging words and all of that, but I think that's been covered.

So I'll say that; dang girl, the walking on it for several miles/days and being a warrior about it, is still cool. Call it what you must, but you still sucked it up, and you do that a lot. Take pain, deal with it with what you've been given, then you face the hard truths like the woman you are.

I think that this is just a short history of your adventures expressed in the physical form of pain with one single extra jump.

To avoid such I'd say is impossible. You are being you, which we all love. :)

Christine said...

You are brave and honest to share. If it makes you feel any better-- I have done dumber things. Big hugs. Hope your foot gets better soon.