I Hate Mosquitoes...

I really do. I hate them. They are annoying. They are responsible for the deaths of over 240 million people a year. (Including my daughter-to-be 7 month old Marion from Liberia). My daughter Faith gets on average one staph infection per year due to their bites. I am currently covered in anti-itch cream trying to soothe my multitude of welts. I hate them..yet, I also know that they are not on this planet by accident..nothing is..really. They have a purpose. They have to, right? My theory is they are here as a living metaphor to serve as a reminder to God's wisdom that is written throughout all of His living creation. Last summer I sat with my journal in a meadow surrounded by mountains. I was 3 days into my 8 day backpack adventure to hike 40 miles through the Colorado mountains. My feet were covered in water filled blisters, my back ached from carrying a 40 pound pack for miles/days...All I wanted with all my heart was to ignore my obvious discomfort...I just wanted to soak in the beauty around me. I was inspired..feeling free, strong and clear. I sat next to a creek...the flowing water spoke wise words to me. I watched the water rush by. The sound alone was an auditory reminder to just let go...to let the burdens of my heart flow down the river. I noticed the rocks, they were unmovable yet not devoid of change..they told me to just hang on and don't get swept away...Over the years their surfaces become smooth, moss covered them, life around them was apparent. Yet, there they stayed as the water rushed all around. I was moved by the stubbornness of the rocks, but drawn by the flow of the water. I opened my journal to write, reflect and bare witness to what I believed to be God's divinity in nature. There I was completely unaware of the insane physical pain I was in...I was just present, breathing, learning...then THEY came! The mosquitoes. I was instantly distracted. I was annoyed. I sat there trying to hold onto the beauty and the lesson in front of me...I scribbled in my journal. I was determined to not let the mosquitoes win. I tried ignoring them, I tried fighting them...ultimately I gave up and moved. I was so ashamed and disappointed in myself that I allowed something so small to get in my way of discovery....Then it hit me! I was there in that meadow, between the mountains, down by the river, in physical pain...to grow. And the very things I hate the most were there to teach me..the mosquitoes.
If I could ignore my bigger physical pain, find wisdom in the running water/unmovable rock and still connect with my creator...then WHY IS IT SOMETHING SO SMALL CAN SEPARATE ME FROM HIM? Why do I get annoyed and distracted with the small and irritating stuff? If I can find beauty in the midst of a big struggle and trust my creator then why won't I let go of the small crap? I tend to let the mosquitoes in my life dictate my response....Yeah they are annoying. my daughter died from Malaria, my body is itching and I still hate them..but a small part of me is thankful for the wisdom that He shares through this living world...