Sunday, August 15, 2010
Blinded by EGO
Why is it that no matter how convicted I am to not make life, issues, challenges and successes about me..I seem to end up somewhere along the way losing sight and becoming blinded by my own ego? The last month or so I have failed more than I want to admit in this area. I have made everything about me all the while wearing a veil of false humility. The thing is... when you are in the middle of it all you can only see your warped point of view that seems so right and justified. You feel as if what you are doing, feeling, saying and believing is righteous and true. You can even call friends and family and they will validate how you feel. The thing is even after the validation, justification and feeling of righteousness....if you still feel unsettled, tense and perhaps even joyful that you are not alone in your thoughts...then in all realness somewhere along the way it became about you. OUCH. I know this. I believe this. I have been slapped upside down by the reality of this...yet, I continue to forget...it's not about me, BEMM, or any other cause, organization, or person. It is about something greater. It is about a LOVE that I don't fully understand, a LOVE that cannot be labeled or boxed, a LOVE that is not about just me, a LOVE that is freely given.