Monday, October 5, 2009

Unexpected Struggle (Day 7)

I wasn't expecting to feel so discouraged during the 30 day In Every Thing Give Thanks Trial. Especially after my day 3 epiphany. I don't know if I'm struggling because I've been on antibiotics for 2 weeks, having the worst menstrual period of my life, running daily fevers while trying to run a home, parent 6 kids, be a loving wife or I'm struggling simply because that's what we do as women. We struggle. I think where my innateness fails me is assuming struggle is bad. Our nature is to make "things just right". I often have running dialogues in my head and visions of the way my day is suppose to play out. Rarely does anything EVER go the way my mind pictures things. So here's the problem- when reality and my "reality" don't match up then comes the disappointment. I often wrap my happiness or my gratefulness in how I feel. Then on top of that I allow guilt to take root. Guilt because I know my circumstances or how I feel should NOT dictate my heart. I know this. I believe this, but yet I still do it.Where does this leave me? Right back at the beginning of realizing the innate struggle we or I have as a woman is to think that struggle is bad and then have the faith to know that it is not only essential but beautiful.
So tonight
I am thankful for my pain.
I am grateful for my struggle.
I know it is good.

BTW- It is not too late to join in on the experiment.
The stories that I have read from the women that are participating have blessed my days.
I have links to their blogs on the upper left corner. Check them out!

2 comments:

Beautiful Mess said...

struggle ESSENTIAL BUT BEAUTIFUL...

This blessed my heart!!

Isn't it interesting the cycles we find ourselves in...

Thank you for your honesty and for this experiment :))

Leah Dooley said...

It is in the fire that we are purified. We'll have plenty of time to be comfortable in eternity, right?