Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Life was easier before we adopted the twins..


Yes, even after two years a part of me still yearns for BT (before twins). Our house was more peaceful. We had less fighting. The stress was manageable. We only had one in diapers. Our grocery budget was less. I still shopped with the kids. We had very few doctor visits. We were invited more places by more people. My kids screamed less. They had fewer meltdowns.

BUT....
EASIER DOES NOT MEAN BETTER.

I need to remind myself and my children of this frequently. As humans and I think Americans, we choose or are more inclined to follow the path of least resistance.
We think more about our comfort than we do about what is right. Most of our decisions are based on what feels good. What will cause the least amount of stress. Keeping "balance" in our lives.
We look for fairness
instead of justice.
My kids...ALL of them have been driving me nuts lately. I mean pushing me to my edge. I think my parenting style has changed since the twins came home. I used to not be so worried about my kids temporary happiness and comfort. Example...I am not or will I ever be a short order cook. What I make for dinner is what my kids eat. Bottom line or they don't eat. I do not cater to their desires. I think though after the twins came...I became so hyper-sensitive to the kids happiness and adjustment..that I have started and maintained bad habits that are biting me in my butt now. It has gotten so out of control..that I often cry when I drive. I spend alot of time in the van with the 3 little ones. It is a constant demand, complain, whine and fight fest. One wants this song. One wants the music off. One wants to sing. One wants the other to stop singing. One wants the windows down. One wants the windows up. And it's not only in the car...it is everywhere. Due to my desire for my kids to feel okay about the last few years....I created spoiled children who think their comfort and happiness is more important than anything else.
BAD MOMMY.
Yes...life was easier....
and I was a better mom...
BUT DOGGONIT
It is going to be better.
Starting right now....I am going to mom up.
I am going to make my apron a superwoman cape.
I am going to restore the balance of what is right vs. what is easy.
Yes...
my children will be denied their whims.
and life will not be fair
or
easy.
BUT
It will be better!

9 comments:

Jen said...

I am sooooo there. A post very similar to this was in my not able to rest head last night. Struggling myself right now and just want you to know you are not alone. I'm so glad to see that someone else has the courage to say it was easier before....

Shonni said...

Hang in there girl friend...the first few days will be a little tough.
I so understand you...my life kind of got HARD when I suddenly had three 3 years old.

Emily said...

I can understand, especially when they were little just 2 years ago I had 5 under 6....... But as they get older it does get easier, most days..... I just find my little ones to be very destructive, lots of broken toys, books... I remember no matter what life I had choosen I would still have bad days, still days that would make me cry! Hang in there your....ready for this....normal ;)

Becky said...

Trackin' with you girl! Call when you get a chance. We can just lock outselves in our rooms and the kids can have one last free-for-all before the apron becomes a cape. I may start wearing my apron all day just to remind myself. Love you

Paula said...

Well, this certainly resonates with me! It's been a long time since we had little ones at home, and the twins were about as challenging as they come. I just keep telling myself that easier isn't better. I remind myself every day that they are a gift and a blessing and thank God. An occasional margarita doesn't hurt either. ;)

Lory Howlett said...

Amen, Sister. We are in a version of your post...and I only have four kids. Bringing our new big son home has not been easy. Is not easy. Makes the days hard. Usually good, too, but still hard. I really don't know the answer, but wanted you to know you are not alone.

Dani said...

Bravo!!

I think sometimes we moms get stuck in survival mode:) Acknowledgement is the first step...

I remember those days (and still have them now and then). May the Lord give you the strength, the encouragement, peace, and patience that you need to get through the next step. Be encouraged. I think we've all been there...and there is always a light at the end;)

In Christ,
D.

missy said...

woo hoo....show those babies what you're made of :o)

Liz said...

Loving this post! I need to Mom up too!