What is...isn't

Have you ever looked in the mirror
and
what you see is
not how you
feel?
Today I started my day with music.
I was determined to not wake up to the same feeling of exhaustion that I do day after day.
Sure...
I haven't slept in weeks.
The kids are sick
and the puppy pooped everywhere.
But
today was different...
I chose to start with a smile on my face.
I cranked the music
I spun my toddlers around.
We sang
We danced.
Their smiles were huge and delicious.
Xia looked at me with bewildered beauty.
I love that age.
The age where fantasy and reality are blurred.
She felt like a princess being swept away at the ball.
Her smile
her amazement
made me fly.
Diezel hugged me tight (this he never does)
Lukas laughed.
Faith seemed apprehensive
and slow to move...
then she felt my heart
and knew.
This was a day to dance.
To sing.
Then the fighting began.
Kids didn't get the seat they wanted
or the breakfast they craved.
Two children got sick
and
the tears flowed...
the great ball
was interrupted by life.
Real life.
Not rainbows and butterflies.
Crying kids
sleeping husbands
dirty kitchens.
As my head sank and my spirit sulked
I was reminded
We choose our response.
I defiantly screamed
"Not today"
Today belongs to me.
It does not belong or bow down to my circumstances....
It belongs to my Creator.
So...
Today
I will not except what I see
But
I will believe what I know