Friday, July 10, 2009

Filling in the Blanks part 1


A few days ago at the book store Xia brought a book to me. She sat in my lap, cuddled up and asked me to read it. I don't remember the title, but the book was pretty, pink and all things girlie. I opened the book. I looked down. I held back my tears and I started to read. I really tried. I did the best I could. The book was filled with blank spots.
"My mommy named me____________________because_______________"
That one was simple. Your name is Xia. Because God gave it to me.
"I was born on_______________.
okay. I can do this.
You were born on June 6, 2008.
"I weighed________________at birth"
Tears.
I don't know.
I do know you were 8 pounds at 22 months.
The blanks seemed to go on forever.
Each blank reminded me of what my twins have lost.


6 comments:

Robbin Hopkins said...

Beautiful. I love that you acknowledge for all that they "gained" they lost so much. It hurts me to believe that AP's still believe that the kid is the lucky one! No WE are the lucky ones. So tiny but not so feisty.

Leah Dooley said...

You know what this makes me think of? How many blanks WILL BE FILLED IN b/c they were rescued.

Brenna said...

I know how those tears sting~ Over the years I've faced many times when I wished I had more answers for my children. It hurts a mama's heart.

Jen said...

feelings i've shared. answers i wish we all had.

David and Sarah said...

Leah said it so well--so many blanks will be filled in. But, we do so mourn the ones that we will never know, don't we? Oh, sweet Xia. One thing is for sure--she will know her mama's love for her!

Adam said...

You turned a dash into some blanks. All of which have special answers filled with love.

Proud of you.