Monday, April 7, 2008

2 More Weeks in the Hospital.

Today was a hard day.

It was also Lukas and McKayley's birthday today.

I think I'm starting to feel overwhelmed. I miss my kids. I miss being alone with my husband. I miss my home.

Please don't misunderstand me. I feel very blessed and thankful. I wouldn't change anything for the world. I have seen God do amazing things these last few weeks. He has brought so many people in my life. I have been truly humbled by all the prayer and support. He is teaching me so much through all of this.

30 comments:

Leah Dooley said...

Some scripture to lift you up

Yet I am poor and needy; may the Lord think of me. You are my help and my deliverer; O my God, do not delay. Ps. 40:17

I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. Ephesians 3:16-17

crispy said...

How are the kids doing? What is their health like right now?

Sorry you are feeling discouraged. I can only imagine how hard it really is. Cling to the truth and take it one moment at a time.

Fantastic Four said...

This too shall pass!

I am sorry that you're overwhelmed, its going to get better...LOTS better! You guys have taken on a lot and its going to take some time for everyone to take it all in. You'll be back in the swing of things in no time.

amy smith said...

oh my. my heart is breaking for you. praying for stregnth, and support, and five minutes alone with the hubby.

Emily said...

This must be so hard on you and your family. I am praying for all of you!

Emily

Colleen said...

You do not have to explain yourself at a time like this! It is always difficult on everyone when someone is sick and in the hospital.

We are praying for you and your family!

Missy said...

Praying for you Steffany!
Love, Missy

Stepping Out of the Boat said...

Steffany--you are Amazing! You have handled all of this with such grace and confidence in the Lord. I am so sorry that yesterday was such a rough day...understandably so! My heart literally aches for you. I am glad that you are learning things through this...it always through our toughest times that the Lord reveals the most of Himself to us. Just take it moment by moment. Breathe in, "Be Still and Know that I am God." You are in survival-mode, but it will get better. Find some verses in the Scripture book I sent you to cling to. You know I am here for you, and am praying you through.

I love you!

Bergmama said...

I just want you to know I'm supporting you through prayer! I am sure this is such a tough time. Hang in there.

Love,
Jill

Kami said...

You don't know me but I have been following your journey for a few weeks now. People all across the world - people that you will never meet - are pulling for your family. God will NEVER give you anything that you can't handle. Hang in there and know that you and your family will make it through everything and come out a little stronger (okay maybe a LOT stronger) on the other side!

Jess said...

Steffany,

I can only imagine how difficult this is for you. We are praying!! Let me know if we can come hang out with the kids. We'd love to!

Jessica Vega

Cassie said...

steffany, i am amazed by your strength. i will continue to pray for you and your family.
cassie

Wife to the Rockstar said...

No one would misunderstand Steff. My goodness, of course you are feeling all of these things. I am amazed at how you have handled all of this so far. You would not be human if you did not miss your home and kids, and your hubby. You have been through one CRAZY ride. The cool thing about the body of Christ is that when we are weak, the rest of the body holds us up. We are holding you up in prayer. It is OK to be weak. Jesus understands and in this time rest in Him.

Amy said...

I know how you feel! You must miss your big kids SO much! Someday you'll look back on this and wonder how you got through it. You're doing great.

Anonymous said...

Steffany,
I want to send to Daizy and Diezel a teddy bear or something????? Can I get the name of the hospital? Jenny Fox

Salzwedel Family said...

It is a miracle you are still able to stand after all you have been through. It seems you have shown amazing strength that only comes from resting in our Heavenly Father. Praying for your family...

Christin said...

You know, I pray that you don't feel guilty for being REAL. Of course you're going to have emotional swings!!! Even Jesus did (when he prayed in the garden for it to not have to happen...then changed his prayers to "not my will...")

I have no words of encouragement. I've never been down the road you are being asked to walk. But I do know, that when Jesus looks at you he is NOT asking you to be unemotional. or numb. or something that you are not.

He knows you. He knows how hard this is. And HE does NOT fault you for feeling the way that you do.

Be released to cry. to laugh. to scream. to do whatever it takes to be real.

In that moment, for me, He is always real as well.

Bonnie Davis said...

Steph, Jenny has kept us updated on the twins ordeal.we are keeping you in our prayers hourely. i know how you love those little ones. They just wrap their little heart around yours.They are so special I know God gives us some gifts to pass through our lives for a short time and others he gives to us for longer periods.But for all the grief we went through to get thoese little ones I'm hoping for longer.Love you all.Miss you lots. Give the little ones a kiss for me. Bonnie

Danielle said...

I can almost hear the exhaustion in your usually upbeat posts. I am sorry your family is going through so much at this time. I know how emotional it can be after coming through an adoption journey and then to have the hospital stays on top of it is very tough.

Know that my family and I keep praying for you. There are no words to make it easier, just prayer.

Wish I lived closer to help:)
Danielle

Brandi said...

Sweet friend, don't feel bad about being overwhelmed. . and you don't need to apologize for being (gasp) human! We all hit the brick wall on some days. . .we know you are going to Jesus with it and thankfully, HIS mercies are NEW every morning! Don't be afraid to tell him / beat on his chest / whine (just a little!) to HIM, for HE knows how you are feeling. . He had too much to do, too many people to love and felt that tug and that exhaustion. . that's why He went away at times. . know that your quiet mtn tops are coming! I love you so much and will be calling you tomorrow!

Love you and praying for you like crazy!
Bran

Christine said...

I know you are tired. I hope you get some much needed rest. Stay strong. You are an amazing woman! I hope your two little ones get well soon.

HollyAnn said...

I echo what everyone else says....its ok to be overwhelmed and weary! You have been through so much...not just with these babies, but over the last year! You are doing amazingly well! I am finding more and more that for strong women, God has to take us to these points so that we lean on Him even more! I know you are leaning on God through this and He will teach you even more about Himself! Love you and am praying for strength for this day!

How are the kids?
Love,
HollyAnn

emily said...

Cling to the author and perfecter of your faith today! I know it must be so draining on you and your family- God is good and His ways are always for our good and His glory!

Rest in the knowledge of the truth and know that many are praying for you.

Lyndsay said...

I have tried to think of something encouraging to say, but I'm having a hard time putting into words all I feel for you and your family. I admire you all, and am praying.

Kami said...

I wish I had words to say, but everyone seems to have said them. So I "ditto" everyone. Hang in there sweety!

Oh yeah, I started scrolling through to posts just before I replied to your post. I saw another Kami. She moved to Colorado from California. She is adopting from Africa. So now there are 2 of us.

Lisa said...

Steff, You have been such an amazing inspiration to so many! You will get thru this and have those things you are longing for, but for now, just let God carry you thru, let Him be your strength and song. I echo what an amazing woman you are and not only are you learning so much but your example is teaching the rest of us so much as well. We continue to cover each of you in prayer and sending you big cyber hugs as well. :)

Jocelyn said...

I just wanted you to know that I am praying for you twins!

My name is Jocelyn and I'm Isaac's Mom (most people know me through my son), I run the Nowthatwerehome group on Yahoo...you have a lot of support on that group!

Love,

Jocelyn

Anonymous said...

I just got off the phone with Steff and both twins had feeding tubes put in yesterday. Diezel is not responding well to them. They are so ready to be home. Please continue to uphold them all in prayer. Jennifer fox

HollyAnn said...

Thanks Jennifer! I was scrolling through to see if anyone posted an update! I am putting them on our church prayer chain right now!
~HollyAnn

Brandi said...

Praying for you. . just got an update from Jen Fox.

Love you,
Bran