Monday, November 19, 2007

The call of adoption

Now, I know why so few people adopt. 1. You have to be called to it. 2.It is definitely one of the hardest journey's a family can make. 3. It is a complete walk of faith

It is with a heavy heart I share that the kid we have grown to love, who was to move in at Christmas, will not be joining our family. My heart is broken and I have no words to explain all the emotions that are building up inside. I have to trust in God's plan for everyone involved. I have faith just as the death of Marion and Emmanuel's return to his village worked out for God's glory. I also have faith that God's hand will again work in a way to glorify Him.

So, in less than a year, we fell in love with three kids, birthed them in spirit, and had to say, "goodbye". But I don't regret a minute of it. Because; 1. Even through it all, my desire to adopt has grown. 2. God is my strength and I am learning to rely on Him more. 3. My faith has deepened.


HollyAnn said...

My heart is broken! I morn with you! I am not typing throug just tears but sobs! I am sorry my friend! Know that I am praying for you and am here when you are ready/need to talk! We still have a coffee date to make up!

Lisa said...

I have no words...I'm so sorry! Know that you are being carried by prayer.

Laura Grote said...

I don't understand. What happened? I am so sorry Steff. I am just so sorry.

Emily said...

I am so sorry. Trust me when I tell you that God will turn your sorrow to joy. We too have lost 6 children that we birthed in our hearts and yet God was faithful and 5 came home. We will be praying for you.

Fantastic Four said...

Oh Steffany! I am so terribly sorry for all of you for yet another loss! We are praying for you guys! lots of love!

Dani said...

I'm so sorry.

I understand what you are going through...and I know it's so difficult. I think you're attitude towards the situation is beautiful. It's hard to understand why things happen the way they do. One day you will be able to look back and see how God orchestrated your family perfectly. I have to do that often.

Prayers for your family, ALL of your family.

Leah said...

Dear Lord,

I do not understand You sometimes but that is a good thing. If I understood your ways and your thoughts then why would I need faith? What would I have to wonder about? Cry about? Get excited and swept off my feet about? I had just began to think about how awesome it'll be to be in Missouri for his first Christmas home and find out tonight that his home is not with us.

I'm crushed and torn b/c even though this child is not perfect we aren't either and you've adopted us as your children no questions asked. Still, you give us discernment and logic for a reason.

My heart hurts for him tonight. I pray he will know you one day and truly understand the sufficient grace that comes from your Son. I pray he will find a home with a family that will love him the way he deserves. I pray his family will come soon and you'll deliver him from foster care. Lord, watch over him and direct his path.

Please be with my family as they mourn and grieve the lost of yet another child. Show them what they need to do next. Show them the next step by opening doors. Thank you for your faithfulness and your love. You owe the Bosters nothing. They don't deserve another child, they don't deserve the children they have, yet you have entrusted them with amazing gifts to raise Godly children and we wait eagerly as you reveal Your plan for tomorrow. We love you Jesus and give you all the glory.


alaskaboys said...

when your hands are empty and your breasts are sore with engorgement, there lies his binky, there his blanket I have not yet finished knitting, you know what question comes to mind? The same one that you ask when a young man is not in your home, your heart longs for the completeness of your family, you have to explain to your kids life's deepest mysteries......why? where is God's justice and why cannot I have been in some other venue of his display of it. Did you have to take my baby, my boy? Could there not have been another way?

When I ask him he says to me... "Child I mourn with you, I love you more than you loved your son, just like you can't explain it to your children, I cannot explain it to you, So I cry with you and your children, and your lover and your parents. Confide in my providence and see that I am with you." And, I can see him.

adopting lady said...

We are so sorry for your loss. We are praying for you.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry. You have been through so much.

Christine said...

Very hard to accept. I can only the imagine the pain of losing a child that you thought you were going to adopt.

God Bless.

Brandi said...

I'm so sorry. . .that was a LOT of loss in one year's time. That makes me so sad. . .Is he ok?