Thursday, May 28, 2009

Standing on the Invisible Line.

I really struggle with this invisible fine line that exists in my comfort/protection level of disclosing in depth personal information or situations I am having with my children. On one hand blogging can be extremely therapeutic and the amazing support/prayer I get from all of you out there is nothing short of a God send in my life. Then on the other hand I feel this obligation to protect my children and their "history". How would I feel if 20 years later I discovered an online journal my mother shared with the world about the personal struggles I faced because of my history.

I get so much from reading blogs that are honest, open and candid. So I know and have personally benefited from those of you who have chosen to share in that capacity.

Then I read on other blogs their stance on not sharing the struggles they have or their children have. I respect that too and it makes perfect sense. Why would you not want to protect your children in that way.

So here I am standing on this invisible line. Wanting to share all the challenges we are facing right now and then on the other hand wanting to give my kids some sort of anonymity.

And want to hear the funny part. I'm putting together a book of amazingly honest, real and candid adoption stories. So talk about hypocrisy. I know I'm a mess.

I find myself standing on this line alot in so many issues.
AARGHHH-Someone push me off.
But please only in a loving way. Okay?


Ginny said...

I know what you mean. I have learned a lot by posting about what we are dealing with and getting feedback from other adoptive parents. In fact by doing so, I feel like we are going to be in a really good place sooner than if I hadn't. Honestly though, I have been way open about our adoption, and am now having some second thoughts. A lot of that has to do with the adoption climate in Liberia right now. I have started a private blog and am moving all my adoption posts there, and thinking about only talking the positive on my public blog. It's hard to know what is best!

Dani said...

As a fellow adoption blogger, I understand completely.

I think there is some line in what should be shared online...and what should be kept as private in home use only. I have shared behavioral things, and will sometimes share things without using a child's name. However, I don't share things that would follow my child...that are extremely personal.

It's hard to find that line, but you will.


PS.. Maybe different names should be used for the adoptive children in the book (if the parents really wanted to protect privacy).

Andrea said...

It's a blurry line isn't it? It's part of the reason I don't use 'real' names on mine. People that know us know the real names of course. And I try not to post too much private stuff. But when we went public with E's diagnosis, that was a really hard decision. I did feel though that if I could help people see how great he is, how doable having a child with HIV is. And to help educate people about the disease so that perhaps we can help end some of the stigmas. Just our thoughts... good luck with yours...;o)

Joy Portis said...

Praying for you and the struggles you are facing! You will know what and how much you should share. Hope you're doing well!

Bergmama said...

I'm in the same boat - I'm always very guarded in what I write, but I wish I was able to be more open without worrying...

I will definitely let you know when the next gathering of STL familes is. We have a group called Ethiopian Kids Community (EKC). Do you want me to have your email address added to the list? Leave me a comment on my blog or facebook if you do! Otherwise I'll just let you know next time we have something - I think it'll be in Aug. :)

darci said...

oh i know what you's a security issue for me, too. praying for ya. not sure which direction to push you off, so...i'll just pray. :)