It's hard to realize you've been so wrong about something that "feels" so right. When you know you heard God speak, but then to end up questioning your motives and if you were actually hearing Him or your own desires.
My eyes are swollen from tears and my throat raspy from crying out. My husband's shoulders are wet from holding me.
After much talk and prayer it has been decided that I am not going to Uganda and Ethiopia this month. It is simply not the right timing. I know and believe with all my heart that I heard God call me to these places-I just tried to force it into my time frame and not God's. I will go, but not now.
I need to first
1. pay for all the Gedese's medical bills. (5k)
2. find people who are going to partner with me for the Uganda sponsorships.
3. invest more quality time with my children.
4. work on strengthening my attachment to the twins.
Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.