Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Someone told me last night that I have been very critical lately. Ouch! My first response was not nice. Then I let the words sink in. How often have I prayed, "Lord change me." Is it possible? Was He was using this person's observation to change me, to soften my heart, to awaken me. I thought about it and yes, I have been critical. I have also been extremely negative as well and not just in one relationship or area of my life, but in all areas and relationships. Have I become Debbie Downer? What went wrong? Where did I make the wrong turn? I look back and I can see the subtle transformation that happened in my spirit from one year ago. I can also see how this shift has taken a toll on my family, on attaching to the twins and in so many places. How often do I spend my days saying, "Stop! Why won't you listen?" or, "you're driving me crazy!". How about this one? "I can't take it anymore" and "You're never home". Ouch. And then what about the things I don't say? The thoughts I just keep to myself. Dark. Sad. Hurtful. Crushing. Man, that person was right. I have become critical. I have gotten into the habit of only seeing the wrong in people and situations. If I honestly look at it. 30-40% right now is out of control. What about the other 60-70%? Do I comment on that? How about I say instead, "Great listener! Thanks I love it when you are listening!", or "Good work______, thanks for doing that. How about, "You are the sharing rockstar king toddler!, Way to go." And even more importantly, " Thanks honey for all you do for our family. You are my hero. I believe in you and thank you so much for calling me out."