I am Filled With...

I feel like we just got home and already it is time to leave again. Tonight at 3am, Adam, myself and our three oldest kiddos fly to Florida to walk the red carpet of my man's first feature length film. I am filled with so much emotion.

I am filled with gratefulness. I am so grateful the film is finally over. It was the longest 9 months of my life without my man. I am also grateful that my man was able to fulfill a life long dream. He made a movie and recorded music!

I am filled with excitement. I have no idea what the next year holds for our family, but I'm ready.
I'm excited to see my three oldest as they watch their daddy celebrate the culmination of a life long dream.

I am filled with relief. I would be lying if I didn't say that I was looking forward to a break from the three toddlers. I am also relieved that the movie actually got completed. It's one thing to start such a project, but another to actually finish it.

I'm filled with nervousness. As much as I need a break I'm nervous about the impact three days away from the twins will do. I have worked so hard to get to where I'm at with their trust. I'm also nervous to be in the"limelight". I know the film has nothing to do with me and people probably won't notice, but the thought of cameras and eyeballs freak me out a little.

I am filled with fear. Holy crapola! I have to wear heels. What if I trip? What if I walk like I'm being poked in the rear?

I'm filled with girliness. Is that even a word? I kind of missed out on the prom thing and I kind of missed out on the traditional wedding thing. So, this will be the first time in 35 years, that I will get dressed in a gown, nails done, hair fixed and get to feel like a princess. My man tells me that he is more excited to see me walk the red carpet than he is about the movie.

BTW- I found an awesome dress. It is all red. Very classy in a simple way. Some pretty cool shoes and a killer pedicure. Please just pray I don't fall on my face.