Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Are You There?
So what happened to the 'ol blog? Well, you do remember that I am and will always be a self proclaimed dork, right? Let's just say, I've had a funky week. Okay honestly I've had a funky two months. So funky that I've been completely not myself. It's like I'm shoved in a deep hole and in this deep hole I'm confused and gasping. I want out of the hole and I know if I just stop looking at the hole I'll notice God is extending a hand down to me. No better yet, He is in the hole with me and telling me exactly what I need to do to get out, but it's so dark and so loud. I sense Him, I know He's there, but There I am. Struggling, fighting, crying. It's so lonely in the hole. I want to tell someone, but no. I just wallow in it. After all this is my hole. In my hole I want to bury anything and everything. I dug a spot for my family. Next to my family I buried my relationships. Since I was burying my relationships , I might as well throw my spiritual growth in there, heck why not toss in my health, well being and while I'm at it, my blog as well. The more I dug, the wider the hole got, the wider the hole got, the more exhausted I became. The more exhausted I became, the more apparent it was that I was not alone. The Hand, the voice, my family, my relationships, my blog, everyone was in the hole with me. In the dark and confusion of the hole I failed to recognize that when I am weak He is strong and greater is He who is IN ME, than he who is in the world. So now I'm working hard on digging everything up again and restoring it. Unfortunately my blog address no longer exits. So, I have no idea who will even be reading this. But here I am. Transparent.