Oh Man....

I am back in the hospital.
But hey...
I have my laptop and wireless internet.
Doing the happy dance from my hospital bed.
I feel very peaceful right now.
I'm trusting in my God that I'll be up dancing for real soon.
I'm suppose to leave for Vegas in two weeks to finish filming...
I bought my tickets in faith.
Thank you for all your prayers and well wishes:)

Boster Style Thanksgiving

Since I spend most of my time in bed now days, my sweet husband bought me a laptop. Now I can blog, facebook and work on the book in bed. All I need is Skype and then I'll be set up:) It's been over 5 weeks since I first got sick. I keep thinking I'll wake up feeling better. I'm off to the Dr. again tomorrow-It's been pretty rough the last few days. My family came here for Thanksgiving and took care of everything. It was a huge blessing. I finally crawled out of bed around 3:00 and joined everyone.

Adam and his dad

My dad, kid brother, Adam and his dad.
It was awesome listening to them jam.

Nadia and Owain our friends from Jamaica.
Do you remember me blogging about putting an ad on craigslist to find someone to help with the twins hair and how nervous I was? Yeah...that's them. They have become great friends. Their son Kwesi and Lukas are best buddies.

18 people in my dining room giving thanks and enjoying our feast.

I Can Only Imagine....

Do you know that song?
"I can only imagine" by Mercy Me.
I heard it today. I actually listen to it a lot.
I played it at my sister's funeral. This morning all of the events around her death hit me.
And it hit me like a punch in the gut. I don't think I've ever put it together before the way it fell into place this morning. The night before she died she called me. She wanted a ride to church for herself and two random kids. It should have been no problem, right?
Yet...every time she called a moral war raged. Many times she would call for a ride to church(a 30min trip in the other direction)only to have me get all the kids ready, drive to her apartment, knock on the door and have her never answer. The times she did come she was mostly strung out and wanted money. Oh, how I miss those times.
After a while it got old. So when she called me in January hoping I would pick her up for church I told her," no" and that she would" need to get another ride". She told me she wanted to bring two little girls to church. I still said, "No". I wanted her to use" her resources" and if" it was important to her she would find a way". She called many people and they all said, "No". They too were tired of her "ways".
Later that day when we were close to her house I asked Adam to stop by her apartment. I hadn't seen her in weeks maybe in over month.
I knocked on the door and two little girls answered...
what do you know...
she was telling the truth about the two little girls.
I saw my sister and hugged her, and gave her money for food.
We talked about church.
She told me about the little girls, and I found out they were the kids of crack addicts next door and she wanted them to experience church and have a chance to hang out with my kids.
She seemed stressed about her TV, but otherwise totally oblivious as I was that she would never wake up again. Those two little girls were there when my sister took her last breath and died. They were in bed with her totally unaware she was dead until the morning until they tried to wake her to put on makeup and play dress-up. I am eternally grateful for those little girls. The life my sister chose to lead ....
unless those two little girls were there...
I have no idea how long she would havestayed in her bed without anyone knowing.
I shudder.
I cry.
I Mourn.
Only God would know
that the following week a crowd would be gathered to listen to the song I cried to this morning.
"I can Only Imagine".
What was the lesson taught at church the day she died? The one that she called me to take her to and I said, "No"
James 4: 13-16
¹³Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." ¹⁴Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. ¹⁵Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." ¹⁶As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil.

This is what I preached at her funeral a week later.
Where the parents of the two little girls, yes the crack addicts sat through and cried.
Now listen to the words of that song....
And promise me....
the next time someone wants a ride to church....
and
no matter how many times that they have stood you up...
take them.
It's never about you or what's convenient
but about a lost lady who is your sister that you miss desperately and two random little girls.
I miss her so much....

HahahahahahahaSnort

Turns out-
putting together an online type catalog for Double Gifting for Christmas or "gifts with a purpose" isn't as easy as I thought.
Nothing ever is.
Still working on it.
I just thought I would be able to whip something up and it would be brilliant.
hahahahahahahahahsnorthahahasnort.
That's me.
Totally laughing at myself.

Double It!

Last year most of the gifts we gave were "gifts with a purpose"
There are so many amazing charities that sell products to raise money and
families that sell things to support their adoptions.
In the next few days I'm going to try to put together an online "catalog" or list of different causes that allow you to not only give someone on your Christmas list an assortment of great gifts but that also allows you to bless the seller. I love that! It's like double the giving.
Please let me know of any organizations that you know of that I could add to the list.
Or if you are a family trying to fund raise for your adoption I would love to know about it.
My friend Joy has started a list with some great ideas already.

*BTW- Please let me know if I can add you to my blog list. I lost my list a few days ago and am trying to rebuild it*

Six Feet Under or Completely Over it.

I've had a few people ask how I am doing since my last few posts have thankfully been non-medical ones. Let's see...I continue to get stronger everyday. I have gained all my weight back. The doctors still haven't been able to pinpoint what exactly the problem was. We are still waiting for some test results. The weakness seems to come and go. I'm still not back to my daily routine. Yesterday was a rough day. I thought I was going to collapse after walking up the stairs from tucking the boys in. I had to go straight to bed. Yet, today I was able to do a little shopping, which is something I haven't done for over 3 weeks. This illness has definitely brought my family together. My mom came everyday for a week to help until she caught the swine flu from Lukas. Please pray for her. She is really sick and because of my weakened immune system I haven't been able to help or see her. My step dad finished the huge chalkboard in the kitchen so the little ones would have something to do while I've been in bed. My bio-dad drove here from St. Louis to visit me in the hospital and since then he has called me every single day to check on me. He even sent me a huge care package in the mail complete with food and warm happy socks. My step mom has graciously offered to drive here on Thanksgiving with my dad, brother and sister to bring and prepare dinner for everyone, including my mom, step dad, Adam's father, and our new friends from Jamaica. My mother in law and my husband's uncles have checked in almost daily to see how we are all doing. Adam leaves for Vegas this week. I am a little nervous because what ever it is I have seems so unpredictable. I am still boycotting the medicine the cardiologist prescribed which probably seems foolish to many people, but I am getting better. And I do feel like given all the information I have it continues to be the best choice for me. My doctor(not the cardiologist) did tell me, "by the time the tests results come back, you'll either be six feet under or completely over it and the chances of never knowing what you have is likely." Umm.. I'll take the feeling better option.
Again, thank you so much for all your prayers and messages.

You Know Someone is a Good Friend When...

After reading your profile they instant message you on facebook and tell you to look up the word that you proudly refer to yourself as
in the dictionary.
Okay for all the times I have called myself "the world's biggest dork"
I seriously had no idea that is was in reference to....
I can't even say it.
Just look it up
DORK

So thank you my dear friend and pastor Ken.
I know know you truly love me.

Oh yeah this *needs to come up with a new name other than dork*girl
needs to re-do my blog list. Most of the ones I had listed stopped blogging.
I'm trying to update and in the process wiped out everyone.
If you know I visit your blog or if you are new to mine..
let me know so I can easily find you by adding you to my list.

This Time of Year

There's something about this time of year that makes my brain work overtime and my heart stretch.
It's that time of year where we come together in thankfulness and celebration. It's also that time of year where we eat too much, spend too much. Then we try to make the reality of our extra pounds and debt suddenly feel better by half heartily committing ourselves to a New Year's resolution to do things differently next year. It's the time of year that we often
lose sight of the simple things and ignore the obvious.


I pray for the wisdom and discernment not to get caught up in the twinkling lights, pretty packages and abundant food.
I pray I also can except the blessings I have without guilt.
I pray while I lift my glass of wine up in celebration with my family and friends this season that I am filled with gratitude for all that I have
and that I remember
what I have seen.

That I remember the obvious.
That over half the world lives on less than $2.50 a day.
That there are 147 million orphans in the world.
That the majority of deaths are because of the lack of clean water!

Today is
$10 Friday. Today. Can mean life.
It's that simple.
Let water be the first gift you buy this year.
Click here to donate.

My Birthday Wish

This year on my 37th birthday I wished for one thing.
A giant chalkboard in my kitchen!
On Oct 4th we painted the wall with not only chalkboard paint, but also magnetic paint!
Then for the next month my dad worked tirelessly to build a custom frame to put around it.
I love it!
and
so do the kids:)

Work To Be Done

I have not only physically, but emotionally and spiritually been unable to care for my family for quite a few weeks now. I have a lot of work to do. To say these last few weeks have been stressful on my family is an understatement. Today is the first day I have made my bed. Today is the first day I haven't been lying prostrate for 20+ hours. Today is the first day I have cooked in weeks. It is the first day I have eaten a meal. I have lost 10 pounds in less than two weeks. The first day I got out of my pj's. Today is the first day I have really been able to somewhat meet the needs of my family. Today is also the first day in weeks (Yes this may sound dramatic...but true) The first day I don't think I'm dying. It is also the first day after the day I decided to stop taking my medicine. After much research I decided it was better to stop what the dr's wanted me to take for the next 3 months.

The truth is...I have been sick. Real sick. My family has suffered because of it and there wasn't a thing I could do about it. I couldn't change anything. I felt helpless. My husband has been carrying the stress of it all. My kids have tried their best to "help", but they're kids and they shouldn't have to.
The times I have been lucid enough to see what was going on around me all I could do was cry.

I have another doctor visit tomorrow. Probably more tests. But hey..that is tomorrow and tonight is now.
And right now at this moment I am getting ready to roll up my sleeves, put my best face forward and get to work.
The work of being a mommy to 6

and the wife to an amazing husband who I have taken for granted.

BTW- I wanted to thank the few friends and family I have that have taken the time out of everyday to either text, email or call me during this time.
It means so much to me.
Thank you.
Your caring has brought me so much encouragement.

Alien Baby

I got home from the hospital on Mon. night. I'm now headed back to the doctor for the 2nd time since then. I have been able to get out of bed some yesterday and this morning. However my spleen has now decided it doesn't have enough room and it's wanting to bust out of my body. Adam says it looks like I'm pregnant with an alien baby. It's okay..you can laugh. I did. I have found myself getting overly dramatic this past week. Something about 3 ER visits and a 3 day hospitalization followed by every other day doctor visits that can make you start to think about stuff. That is another post entirely. Just wanted to update everyone.

In Hospital

I ended up back in the hospital last night. Still here. Please pray for my family while I'm here. Pray for wisdom for the doctors to find out what is wrong with me. Last night was scary, but I'm feeling a bit better this morning.