The Mistake That Didn't Happen

We had a special visitor today. I owe this lady a lot. More than I remembered. When Adam and I were expecting our first child, (12 years ago)- We were young and scared to death! We had only been married a month or two when we discovered-TaDa, We are pregnant! Oh my, Oh my- We went to the Doctor (who shall not be named) and met Her. Sue, our nurse, our protector, our friend! She was wonderful, always smiled, always caring and always reassuring! Every month for my visit and numerous phone calls in between she listened. She prayed for us, she gave me her daily prayer for the day when I came in. I think she was as scared as we were. We were young, poor, just married. Adam knew the Lord, I did not! It was a hard pregnancy, we lost our son's twin early on, I was bleeding constantly and Adam was gone a lot with his band. She was always there though. We ended up on Oct 2nd giving birth to an amazing blessing, all 8.5Ibs. of Jaceman! We kept in contact with Sue. She ended up inviting us to her church. Adam became the Worship Pastor, I eventually became a children's pastor and yes, I gave my life over to Christ! Thanks Sue! Well, we have kept in sporadic touch through the years. We moved to Missouri from Los Angeles a few years ago, but I have thought of her often.
Guess what?
Sue and her husband came to our house this morning in Missouri. They are traveling across the U.S. on their motorcycle-How cool. It was great to see her! She looked the same, with her beautiful smile and loving arms. Wow! Anyway we started talking and she said it was such joy to see us with our 4 children, considering I almost had my tubes tied after Jace! "WHAT" I completely forgot, but Our Doctor(who shall not be named) almost had us convinced to do this.
We knew back then, we wanted to adopt- We were okay with becoming sterile- Heck- I was 21.
Do you think I would be in any frame of mind to decide this? Especially, after 36 hours of completely natural childbirth . Good for us that Sue was listening and put a stop to that idea. We were cash patients(no insurance) so he could have pocketed the $. I guess, I'm happy to know we wanted to adopt 12 years ago, but more than anything- Thank you Sue, thank you for being my first obgyn nurse, thank you for inviting us to church and thank you for helping us avoid the biggest mistake that Never happened!

It Has Begun

Construction on Marion's House has officially begun!!!!! A family who recently traveled to Liberia to pick up their three children, was kind enough to take pictures for me! It is to house the babies, function as an office for Addy's Hope and I think be a place for adoptive families to stay. I could have the last part wrong though. Anyway, I'm just excited to share the photos with everyone. Although it doesn't look like much right now, I know it will be a place that brings hope to all who enter. A hope to the babies that have no where to go, a hope for Addy's Hope that work tirelessly on our behalf, and a hope to adoptive families who pray for the best care for their children until they can come home.
These pictures couldn't have come at a better time. I am struggling with sadness and loss right now. I thought the grief of Marion's death and Emman's return to the village would have left my spirit by now. It's strange the opposite has been happening. Right after everything happened I was at peace, and I knew God would work it all out for His glory. And He has- Just look at what's being built in Liberia! However, The time between then and now-has seemed like an eternity. It's been enough time to allow doubt to creep in. Doubt of- Am I really suppose to adopt from Liberia? Doubt of-Am I just trying to fill an emptiness with kids? Doubt of- Am I really capable of caring for and loving another child? Doubt of-Am I making the best decision for my family?
Then God reminds me again of His promises- I need to replace my doubt with faith. Faith that yes, I am to adopt from Liberia. Faith that-No only God fills my emptiness. Faith that-Yes, I can and will love and care for any child that comes through my door. And Faith that-It is not my decision, but a gift that God has given to my family. A gift that I look forward to, a gift I am praying for and a gift that will be cherished.

http://www.trew122.com/

TREW122-That's the name of Adam's new skateboard ministry. He has wanted to reach out to kids through skateboarding for years. When we lived in Los Angeles we had the beginnings of one started. It was pretty cool seeing all the neighborhood kids come together once a week to skate. We were able to provide a safe and nurturing environment to them, build relationships, and of course a place to Grind, Ollie and Drop in. We have our first event scheduled for Oct 14 at our house, on the ramp that has been in the making for almost 18 months! It has been constructed then deconstructed and finally in it's last stages of reconstruction. Thanks to the help of a local Skateboard shop owner and his crew of helpers. People have come together to help Adam see the reality of this dream.
I am excited and also a little nervous- I am incredibly proud of my husband. He is an amazing husband, father, entrepreneur, and a man of God. He can achieve anything he puts his heart and mind to. So, why am I nervous? Well, because of what I just said. God has given my husband amazing talents, and amazing dreams. To whom much is given, much is required! Right after the launch of the skateboard ministry, he travels to Los Angeles for 7 weeks to make his first motion picture. The Red Canvas- it is an amazing story. A martial arts flick with the heart of Rocky. He has wanted to make films since Star Wars came out in the 70's. He has sacrificed and worked harder than anyone I know. He continues to amaze and bless me.
On top of all this, we are hoping and praying to have this incredible kid who is in foster care to come and transition into our home around Christmas. We also hope to bring home our daughter from Liberia soon. I have no doubt that we will find a way to balance it all out. I know God will provide peace and strength through all of it. The thing that gets me is, Why on earth do I put myself through such stress, when:
1. It's all positive life growth
2. It's things we have prayed for
3. God is in complete control

Lost posts from old blog- All about our two babies in Africa, and God's plan for their lives. Even in sorrow, He brings hope.

Saturday, July 21, 2007



This is my baby Marion. She is sick and I'm not there to hold her. I desperately want to tell her, "It's okay baby, mommy's here." I want to sing to her, cradle her and tell her she's loved. My heart is breaking and aching. Even though we have never even met her, she is mine, my heart has known her since the beginning of time. When God created her, he knew one day in another country across the world, I would give birth to her in my heart. He knew we would love her, pray for her and travel around the globe to find her and Emmanuel. I have peace in knowing God works everything out for His glory. I have peace in knowing she's in the hospital. Thank God for Pastor Wesley who is caring for her and all the children at Greater Love Childrens Home in Liberia.





Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Marion's House


It is with great sorrow we announce the passing of our baby Marion in
Liberia. Words can not describe the emotions we are filled with. Thank
you to everyone who prayed for her. We are now more convicted than
ever that we are doing the right thing in adopting from Liberia. Our
baby was one of thousands that died in Africa that night. One more
child taken by disease, poverty and war. I have peace in knowing God
has a perfect plan for everything. If he led us to Emmanuel and Marion
to ignite passion and urgency in our hearts to get off our butts and
do Something. Then Amen, I am ready. Tag. I feel the call.

Our children's orphanage (Greater Love Children's Home) is in desperate need to build a separate home for the babies. If we can separate the babies from the older children they will not be exposed to so many germs. They need such a small amount to accomplish this. $ 4000 dollars is nothing to build something that will save the lives of some of the poorest orphans in the world. It is our mission to raise the money needed and dedicate to our precious baby Marion.



Friday, July 27, 2007
Half way there!


God is great! A wonderful family donated $1000 to Marion's House. WAHOOOOO! So with the other money raised so far that puts us half way to our goal in less than a week!! Praise God. The sooner we raise the money, the sooner the baby home will be built, the sooner the babies will thrive. Thank you so much for your prayers and support. They carried us through the last few days.



Monday, August 6, 2007
Wahooo!!!!!


I serve an awesome God! He goes above and beyond what we ask or think is possible! In less than a week he supplied the $4000. for Marion's House. A church in Minnesota donated $2000 to the house. A member of their congregation is adopting from the same orphanage. Man, God is Good!
And guess what? He is doing so much more than just the building of the house! My sister-in-law(who happens to be an amazing woman of God) is spreading the word of Marion's House. So imagine not only a seperate house, but also one that is furnished and decorated! Marion's short life has touched so many people! I am truly humbled and blessed by every ones generosity and prayers for our children in Africa.



Friday, August 24, 2007
Update on Marion's House and Emmanuel

I am truly humbled to be a part of what God has done through Marion's earthly death. When I spoke with HollyAnn (the amazing woman who started Addy's Hope) she said," I could hear the buzzing of construction on the baby home when I spoke with Pastor Wesley!" People continue to come forward and show support for the orphanage. My husband's cousin and her family gave generously to Marion's House. My heart did a flip in my chest when I opened her card. Wow, I thought-God is good! So, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone. It is truly amazing to see all God has done. In this I have great comfort and Peace.

I don't know how to begin this next paragraph. It is with a heavy heart that we share Emmanuel will not be coming home either. A few weeks ago, The Lord told me we needed to let go. But why Lord, I don't understand! A few days after my pleading with God, Emmanuel was taken back to His village. It seems after Marion's death, the village was convinced she was part of some,"sacrifice" and they wanted Emmanuel back for tribal "cleansing". He has yet to come back to the orphanage. So, I still don't understand what God has planned.

It's funny how we see things and how God sees things. Through this whole adoption process, God and I haven't seen things the same way. I saw Marion and Emmanuel in our family and home in Columbia. He saw so much more. He saw Marion's House, a place where countless babies over time could be cared for. A place that glorified Him! One thing we have seen the same is, one boy and one girl. God has shown us our son. He is here in Missouri. I look forward to sharing him with you. In time I will be able to. We still have a lot of hurdles to jump through before we can make an official announcement. I fell in love with this kid months ago. I wondered how God was going to work everything out. When I saw Emmanuel and Marion, we still had yet to meet this kid. My dear husband was concerned about adding three kids to the family. I think back now and realize God was giving me a glimpse of what was to come. My reply to Adam was," I don't know what God has planned, all I know is He showed me these three kids for a reason. I believe we need to be obedient to His call and He will direct us." So, it is with faith we moved ahead with all three. Yet, I knew in my heart it was to be one boy and one girl. I feel like we came full circle. We are getting to know this amazing kid here in Missouri and God's will was accomplished in Liberia.

Now I'm on my knees for my little girl. Hollyann asked what age are we hoping for. I wanted to say, a baby. But if there is one thing I've learned through all of this.. His will be done, not mine. So my response was, "no matter what age, pray about it and if you feel lead call us right away!"



Tuesday, September 4, 2007
What to do



I have been asked if I plan on keeping Emman's and Marion's pictures under "My Kiddos". I wonder why I'm struggling with this thought. I am at peace with all that has happened. Someone asked if it's a matter of letting go? I have pondered this for days. I have let go of what I wanted- the obvious stuff like-holding them, kissing their boo-boos, watching them grow, and mothering them like crazy! But No, I can't and won't let go of the fact that I love them, I pray for Emman, and yes, they are and will always be a part of our family. Even with these strong thoughts, I wonder. Do I leave their pictures there? Do I remove them? What To do?

To Know or Not to Know

Okay, I think I finally settled on a blog template. So, hopefully I will quit erasing stuff.

Every week I have a new poll (a would you rather question). Some are funny, some are serious and some are just plain stupid. My sister-in-law introduced me to the would you rather game a few years ago. The kids and I play it a lot. It's an amazing way to open up topics for discussion.

This last week, my question was would you rather know when you're going to die or not know. Before I messed up the blog for the second time in a week, it was pretty obvious nobody wanted to know.

My first thought is No way do I want to know, but then I started thinking about my sister. She passed away a little over a year ago. She was 37. She went to sleep on a Sunday night and never woke up. Do you think she would have wanted to know it was her last month, her last week, day, hour or breath? How would she have spent her last day?

So, would I want to know? No, I wouldn't. The Sunday before she died, we read James 4:13 in church.

Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that."

I never would have thought a week later, I would be reading this same passage at my sister's funeral. We don't know how long we have on this earth. Like in Marions case, her time was a few months, but she was loved, cherished and she touched hundreds of people across the globe. How are you spending your time? How am I spending my time? My sister's death and my baby Marion's death have taught me this:

Live and love today as if it's your last.
With that said, I am off to go hug my babies, call my mom to tell her how much I love her and embrace my husband.

A Family that Slides Together.....

Stays Together

oops

I wanted a new template for my blog- Instead I deleted all the entries. I guess it's time for a fresh start!