Now that my little pity party is officially over, my eyes are once again focused where they belong....outward:) Last week was tough. I am completely out of what little comfort zone I feel like I have left. I think I've gotten in a horrible habit of walking in blind faith completely expecting God to work or meet the needs I feel that need to be met. Does that make sense? I fully expect God to provide what is needed..only I have gotten in the habit of defining what is needed. I need to trust that He will work according to His will and not mine. I fully expected after I jumped off the freakin' cliff and head first into several conversations with different pastors from different churches (something that terrified me) that God would show up how I wanted Him to...in the form of what I feel are tangible ways...ie..the churches hearing the need, being moved to act and ending with them committing financial support to 24 villages surrounding Mareya by helping provide the funds to purchase the 4x4, midwife training and supplies for the clinic. Nope, it didn't happen like that and to be honest last week I was a little upset. I found myself mad that I did what I thought was my part. I put myself in situations, conversations and reaching out in ways I never thought I would and nada..nothing. No reward. No closer to helping the people God Himself told me to help. Then, it occurred to me...who am I expect or define how I feel God should respond? I don't know what seeds were planted, I don't know how or when God will grow them. Heck, I don't even know the type of plant that will eventually be harvested. All I do know is my God is good and He will provide what is needed and when it's needed. With that said...I have fully surrendered the outcome to Him and I will continue to be obedient . I will work like it depends on me and pray because I know it's up to Him. If I had my way, the funds for the 4x4 would already be in the bank. Their not. Not even close. I had someone today try to bring comfort by telling me even if we don't raise the money in time that we will definitely have it raised by our spring trip. That is comforting. That maybe...it's not suppose to happen this trip. There's always spring. That's only 6 months away. That is only 120 people who will lose their lives. That in only close to 240 new orphans in Ethiopia. I have had someone tell me that maybe we aren't successful raising the funds because a 4x4 (ambulance) is not the answer and I heard God wrong. The day I sat in the ditch with the administrators from the 24 villages and I heard that 4 out 10 women die giving birth, I heard that they don't survive the 10 hour hike down the mountain, I heard the men ask, "Please save our women". I'm pretty confident I also heard God that same day...Do I believe that He is in control? Yes. Do I trust in His timing? Yes.
It was last week that I felt so convicted that the bulk would be raised by helping others as well. I was in my bed and my mind started thinking about how on earth I even came to be in a ditch with 24 villages by myself in Ethiopia. My journey started with my desire to adopt and after my twins joined our family in 2008, God grew my passion for orphans into an organization whose primary focus is to prevent them. I get so many requests to help fund adoptions that it only made since to combine my two passions. Adoption of the 160 million orphans that are already waiting for someone to love them and providing the resources and education necessary to 24 villages in Ethiopia that would prevent 40 orphans a month and save the lives of their mothers.
you can read about the dual fundraiser here http://toliveloveandlaughtoday.blogspot.com/2011/08/adoptive-parent-talk.html
To date we have raised almost $1250 of the 20k we hoped to raise to support 11 families adoptions and the ambulance.
There is a chance we may not reach our goal. Worst case scenario 120 people will die and 240 children will be left orphaned. And we will have to be okay with that...we will take comfort that even though this thought is painful we would have to believe it's not His timing...
There is also a chance that we will reach our goal. That we will witness a miracle. That 120 people will be saved by providing the 4x4 by Oct. and 240 children will still have a mother. And when that happens...We will give God the Glory....
I just know...Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
For a min. $20 donation you can give hope to an adopting family and save lives.