I looked in the mirror today and cried. This may sound weird, but I try not to look in the mirror that much. It's not that I don't like what I see or have hang-ups about my appearance. It's just I am who I am. I don't want what I see on any given day to dictate how I should feel about myself. I don't normally wear make-up or spend any time getting ready. I get up and go. Because inside I feel beautiful. I feel alive. I feel loved. I believe I look the same on the outside too and it is what is inside that will control what I see on the outside.
Lately though I have felt ugly, tired and unloved....I was scared to look in the mirror. I am almost 40, I am weary, and I don't feel loved...I did not recognize myself. Holy crap...I look old. I look weary. I look unloved. I look exactly how I feel. I cried. My tears got caught in my wrinkles, my happiness was lost in the bags under my eyes, I feel unloved...and it is obvious from my face, I feel alone.
Yes, I looked in the mirror today and my reflection described me. I can't change my age or my wrinkles.....or even who loves me.
I do know I can feel beautiful. I can feel alive. I can feel loved.
I will not find what I need or all I lack, gazing upon my image. No. I will discover it when I remember to look beyond what I see and who see. I will find it in loving. I will find it in serving... I will find the image I seek and who I am among the least of these...