Oh Man....

I am back in the hospital.
But hey...
I have my laptop and wireless internet.
Doing the happy dance from my hospital bed.
I feel very peaceful right now.
I'm trusting in my God that I'll be up dancing for real soon.
I'm suppose to leave for Vegas in two weeks to finish filming...
I bought my tickets in faith.
Thank you for all your prayers and well wishes:)

Boster Style Thanksgiving

Since I spend most of my time in bed now days, my sweet husband bought me a laptop. Now I can blog, facebook and work on the book in bed. All I need is Skype and then I'll be set up:) It's been over 5 weeks since I first got sick. I keep thinking I'll wake up feeling better. I'm off to the Dr. again tomorrow-It's been pretty rough the last few days. My family came here for Thanksgiving and took care of everything. It was a huge blessing. I finally crawled out of bed around 3:00 and joined everyone.

Adam and his dad

My dad, kid brother, Adam and his dad.
It was awesome listening to them jam.

Nadia and Owain our friends from Jamaica.
Do you remember me blogging about putting an ad on craigslist to find someone to help with the twins hair and how nervous I was? Yeah...that's them. They have become great friends. Their son Kwesi and Lukas are best buddies.

18 people in my dining room giving thanks and enjoying our feast.

I Can Only Imagine....

Do you know that song?
"I can only imagine" by Mercy Me.
I heard it today. I actually listen to it a lot.
I played it at my sister's funeral. This morning all of the events around her death hit me.
And it hit me like a punch in the gut. I don't think I've ever put it together before the way it fell into place this morning. The night before she died she called me. She wanted a ride to church for herself and two random kids. It should have been no problem, right?
Yet...every time she called a moral war raged. Many times she would call for a ride to church(a 30min trip in the other direction)only to have me get all the kids ready, drive to her apartment, knock on the door and have her never answer. The times she did come she was mostly strung out and wanted money. Oh, how I miss those times.
After a while it got old. So when she called me in January hoping I would pick her up for church I told her," no" and that she would" need to get another ride". She told me she wanted to bring two little girls to church. I still said, "No". I wanted her to use" her resources" and if" it was important to her she would find a way". She called many people and they all said, "No". They too were tired of her "ways".
Later that day when we were close to her house I asked Adam to stop by her apartment. I hadn't seen her in weeks maybe in over month.
I knocked on the door and two little girls answered...
what do you know...
she was telling the truth about the two little girls.
I saw my sister and hugged her, and gave her money for food.
We talked about church.
She told me about the little girls, and I found out they were the kids of crack addicts next door and she wanted them to experience church and have a chance to hang out with my kids.
She seemed stressed about her TV, but otherwise totally oblivious as I was that she would never wake up again. Those two little girls were there when my sister took her last breath and died. They were in bed with her totally unaware she was dead until the morning until they tried to wake her to put on makeup and play dress-up. I am eternally grateful for those little girls. The life my sister chose to lead ....
unless those two little girls were there...
I have no idea how long she would havestayed in her bed without anyone knowing.
I shudder.
I cry.
I Mourn.
Only God would know
that the following week a crowd would be gathered to listen to the song I cried to this morning.
"I can Only Imagine".
What was the lesson taught at church the day she died? The one that she called me to take her to and I said, "No"
James 4: 13-16
¹³Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." ¹⁴Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. ¹⁵Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." ¹⁶As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil.

This is what I preached at her funeral a week later.
Where the parents of the two little girls, yes the crack addicts sat through and cried.
Now listen to the words of that song....
And promise me....
the next time someone wants a ride to church....
and
no matter how many times that they have stood you up...
take them.
It's never about you or what's convenient
but about a lost lady who is your sister that you miss desperately and two random little girls.
I miss her so much....

HahahahahahahaSnort

Turns out-
putting together an online type catalog for Double Gifting for Christmas or "gifts with a purpose" isn't as easy as I thought.
Nothing ever is.
Still working on it.
I just thought I would be able to whip something up and it would be brilliant.
hahahahahahahahahsnorthahahasnort.
That's me.
Totally laughing at myself.

Double It!

Last year most of the gifts we gave were "gifts with a purpose"
There are so many amazing charities that sell products to raise money and
families that sell things to support their adoptions.
In the next few days I'm going to try to put together an online "catalog" or list of different causes that allow you to not only give someone on your Christmas list an assortment of great gifts but that also allows you to bless the seller. I love that! It's like double the giving.
Please let me know of any organizations that you know of that I could add to the list.
Or if you are a family trying to fund raise for your adoption I would love to know about it.
My friend Joy has started a list with some great ideas already.

*BTW- Please let me know if I can add you to my blog list. I lost my list a few days ago and am trying to rebuild it*

Six Feet Under or Completely Over it.

I've had a few people ask how I am doing since my last few posts have thankfully been non-medical ones. Let's see...I continue to get stronger everyday. I have gained all my weight back. The doctors still haven't been able to pinpoint what exactly the problem was. We are still waiting for some test results. The weakness seems to come and go. I'm still not back to my daily routine. Yesterday was a rough day. I thought I was going to collapse after walking up the stairs from tucking the boys in. I had to go straight to bed. Yet, today I was able to do a little shopping, which is something I haven't done for over 3 weeks. This illness has definitely brought my family together. My mom came everyday for a week to help until she caught the swine flu from Lukas. Please pray for her. She is really sick and because of my weakened immune system I haven't been able to help or see her. My step dad finished the huge chalkboard in the kitchen so the little ones would have something to do while I've been in bed. My bio-dad drove here from St. Louis to visit me in the hospital and since then he has called me every single day to check on me. He even sent me a huge care package in the mail complete with food and warm happy socks. My step mom has graciously offered to drive here on Thanksgiving with my dad, brother and sister to bring and prepare dinner for everyone, including my mom, step dad, Adam's father, and our new friends from Jamaica. My mother in law and my husband's uncles have checked in almost daily to see how we are all doing. Adam leaves for Vegas this week. I am a little nervous because what ever it is I have seems so unpredictable. I am still boycotting the medicine the cardiologist prescribed which probably seems foolish to many people, but I am getting better. And I do feel like given all the information I have it continues to be the best choice for me. My doctor(not the cardiologist) did tell me, "by the time the tests results come back, you'll either be six feet under or completely over it and the chances of never knowing what you have is likely." Umm.. I'll take the feeling better option.
Again, thank you so much for all your prayers and messages.

You Know Someone is a Good Friend When...

After reading your profile they instant message you on facebook and tell you to look up the word that you proudly refer to yourself as
in the dictionary.
Okay for all the times I have called myself "the world's biggest dork"
I seriously had no idea that is was in reference to....
I can't even say it.
Just look it up
DORK

So thank you my dear friend and pastor Ken.
I know know you truly love me.

Oh yeah this *needs to come up with a new name other than dork*girl
needs to re-do my blog list. Most of the ones I had listed stopped blogging.
I'm trying to update and in the process wiped out everyone.
If you know I visit your blog or if you are new to mine..
let me know so I can easily find you by adding you to my list.

This Time of Year

There's something about this time of year that makes my brain work overtime and my heart stretch.
It's that time of year where we come together in thankfulness and celebration. It's also that time of year where we eat too much, spend too much. Then we try to make the reality of our extra pounds and debt suddenly feel better by half heartily committing ourselves to a New Year's resolution to do things differently next year. It's the time of year that we often
lose sight of the simple things and ignore the obvious.


I pray for the wisdom and discernment not to get caught up in the twinkling lights, pretty packages and abundant food.
I pray I also can except the blessings I have without guilt.
I pray while I lift my glass of wine up in celebration with my family and friends this season that I am filled with gratitude for all that I have
and that I remember
what I have seen.

That I remember the obvious.
That over half the world lives on less than $2.50 a day.
That there are 147 million orphans in the world.
That the majority of deaths are because of the lack of clean water!

Today is
$10 Friday. Today. Can mean life.
It's that simple.
Let water be the first gift you buy this year.
Click here to donate.

My Birthday Wish

This year on my 37th birthday I wished for one thing.
A giant chalkboard in my kitchen!
On Oct 4th we painted the wall with not only chalkboard paint, but also magnetic paint!
Then for the next month my dad worked tirelessly to build a custom frame to put around it.
I love it!
and
so do the kids:)

Work To Be Done

I have not only physically, but emotionally and spiritually been unable to care for my family for quite a few weeks now. I have a lot of work to do. To say these last few weeks have been stressful on my family is an understatement. Today is the first day I have made my bed. Today is the first day I haven't been lying prostrate for 20+ hours. Today is the first day I have cooked in weeks. It is the first day I have eaten a meal. I have lost 10 pounds in less than two weeks. The first day I got out of my pj's. Today is the first day I have really been able to somewhat meet the needs of my family. Today is also the first day in weeks (Yes this may sound dramatic...but true) The first day I don't think I'm dying. It is also the first day after the day I decided to stop taking my medicine. After much research I decided it was better to stop what the dr's wanted me to take for the next 3 months.

The truth is...I have been sick. Real sick. My family has suffered because of it and there wasn't a thing I could do about it. I couldn't change anything. I felt helpless. My husband has been carrying the stress of it all. My kids have tried their best to "help", but they're kids and they shouldn't have to.
The times I have been lucid enough to see what was going on around me all I could do was cry.

I have another doctor visit tomorrow. Probably more tests. But hey..that is tomorrow and tonight is now.
And right now at this moment I am getting ready to roll up my sleeves, put my best face forward and get to work.
The work of being a mommy to 6

and the wife to an amazing husband who I have taken for granted.

BTW- I wanted to thank the few friends and family I have that have taken the time out of everyday to either text, email or call me during this time.
It means so much to me.
Thank you.
Your caring has brought me so much encouragement.

Alien Baby

I got home from the hospital on Mon. night. I'm now headed back to the doctor for the 2nd time since then. I have been able to get out of bed some yesterday and this morning. However my spleen has now decided it doesn't have enough room and it's wanting to bust out of my body. Adam says it looks like I'm pregnant with an alien baby. It's okay..you can laugh. I did. I have found myself getting overly dramatic this past week. Something about 3 ER visits and a 3 day hospitalization followed by every other day doctor visits that can make you start to think about stuff. That is another post entirely. Just wanted to update everyone.

In Hospital

I ended up back in the hospital last night. Still here. Please pray for my family while I'm here. Pray for wisdom for the doctors to find out what is wrong with me. Last night was scary, but I'm feeling a bit better this morning.

Last Day

I'm out of the hospital.
Somehow I feel a lot less like a dork now.
I have spent the last 5 days of my life in bed thinking
I can't believe running 4 miles did this.
How lame.
Well today I was redeemed.
I have pericarditis
caused by a viral infection.
I'm sure running while being sick didn't help,
but it didn't cause it:)
After spending most of the day on oxygen, ekg's, ultrasounds, morphine and lab work I got to leave.
They are still unsure which direction my pericarditis is going.
I guess it can either resolve without any complications or it can not go so well.
But today on my last day of In Everything Give Thanks Trial
I am thankful to be home with my family tonight.

Why oh Why Steffany?

Why Steffany?

oh why.
Do you do what you do?
Because you only live this life once.
That is why I do what I do.
However stupid it may be.

Wed night of last week I developed a weird chest pain with wheezing. Never had anything like this before. Thursday I was so weak I couldn't get out of bed. I prayed all day to be well enough to drive to Iowa the next morning to run for Charity Water and meet some blog friends. Fri. morning I was able to get out of bed. Praise God. I packed up the twins and McKayley and drove 4.5 hours to Iowa. I got to finally meet Amy and Cassie and see Jody again. I woke up the next morning at 4am then started running the race at 8am in the the cold wet morning.
I did it!!!! I ran the whole thing. Came in 36th out of 140 people. Later in the day Jody's wonder twins and my super twins met. It was awesome. So cool to see them together. Then around 5:45 we went to church to hear Jody's husband lead worship. About that time my chest pain was intense. So intense, I leaned over to Amy and told her I needed to go to the hospital. Those of you who "know" me realize I never go to the hospital. By this time I'm extremely embarrassed and a little freaked out. We left the kids at church and headed to the hospital.
The hospital was overrun. After 2.5 hours I was released and told I had inflammation of my heart sac and lungs. Great. Now I feel like a bigger dork. They chastised me for running while sick. The nurse kept telling me "running the marathon" was a bad idea. I was too embarrased to remind her it was just 4 miles. Somehow the word marathon brought me great comfort.
So I woke up the next morning drove 4.5 hours home. By Mon morning I was back at the Dr. again. I have now been pretty much in bed for two days and will most likely head back to the Dr. again.
So what did I learn from all of this?
I would probably do it all over again the exact same way.
I followed through on a commitment I had made and that feels great.
I got to spend time with some of the most incredible women I have ever met.
I got to be inspired by the heart of a small town in the midwest.
I renewed my sense of purpose with "Because Every Mother Matters".
and
I got to buy some really cool Water4Christmas stuff:)

Running Out the Door

I got the twins and Mckayley loaded up in the van.
We are headed to Iowa.
Traveling in total over 500 miles
to support
Water 4 Christmas
and
meet some good friends face to face.

BTW- Yes. I'm really going to run in Gadese's official Olympic running suit.
Hehehe

It's Worth it

I tried a new recipe a few nights ago.
When I grocery shop I'm known for buying food because it looks fun but yet I have no idea how to cook it.
I bought a big butternut squash.
I know there's a lot you can do with them.
I got it because it looked cool.
It sat on the counter for over a week.
Finally I made something with it.
It was a pain to make though.
The recipe said 15 min prep time.
It took me over a hour.
No joke.
It looked pretty.
It's worth the time to make it at least once.
It tasted great too.

INGREDIENTS

• 1 small butternut squash, cubed
• 2 red bell peppers, seeded and diced
• 1 sweet potato, peeled and cubed
• 3 Yukon Gold potatoes, cubed
• 1 red onion, quartered
• 1 tablespoon chopped fresh thyme
• 2 tablespoons chopped fresh rosemary
• 1/4 cup olive oil
• 2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
• salt and freshly ground black pepper

DIRECTIONS

1. Preheat oven to 475 degrees F (245 degrees C).
2. In a large bowl, combine the squash, red bell peppers, sweet potato, and Yukon Gold potatoes. Separate the red onion quarters into pieces, and add them to the mixture.
3. In a small bowl, stir together thyme, rosemary, olive oil, vinegar, salt, and pepper. Toss with vegetables until they are coated. Spread evenly on a large roasting pan.
4. Roast for 35 to 40 minutes in the preheated oven, stirring every 10 minutes, or until vegetables are cooked through and browned.

Z"OINK"S

Let's see

The symptoms of the Swine flu.

• fever, which is usually high, but unlike seasonal flu, is sometimes absent-Check. Lukas's fever 102.5 3 days
  
• cough-Check.
  
• runny nose or stuffy nose-Check Lukas has constant sniffles.
• sore throat-Check. Lukas say's his neck hurts
• body ache-Check. "Mommy my legs hurt so bad." He wants to be carried from room to room
• headache-Check
• chills-No
• fatigue or tiredness, which can be extreme-Check
• diarrhea and vomiting, sometimes, but more commonly seen than with seasonal flu-Check he had diarrhea all week last week.

Oh yeah,
Lukas's pre- school he attends a few mornings a week has confirmed cases in his class.
This might be a long week.

Coming Soon

Day 21 of In Every Thing Give Thanks Trial

I finally had our video from when we traveled to Ethiopia to meet Diezel and Xia transferred to a digital format. I can't wait to spend some time editing it together. I sat down and watched it today for the first time. To look back and see the changes in all of us was an emotionally draining experience that was filled with thankfulness.
To see them again as they were was a huge wake up call to hug them more, to linger in the rocking chair longer, to breathe them in, appreciate all the the Lord has done.
I was holding back my tears remembering how small they were. How sick they were. How non trusting they were.
I wanted to scream out as I watched Xia's mom cradling her with a grief stricken look on her face as their dad held Diezel and was thanking us. She was scared they would die before they came to America. She kept apologizing for how sick they were. My heart was breaking in a way that words cannot begin to express. I sat there in the video trying to come to terms with a reality that only God could have ordained. Two couples both loving the same children. So much that they both couples would live a life of sacrifice.
To much for words.
I can't wait to share the video with you.
So coming soon...


The video.

Diezel's ABC Food

Sorry couldn't help myself.
I had to share.

Serious Stuff in the Boster House

No Boster is aloud to miss it
and not to participate is not an option.

You will dress in costume

You eat disgusting vendor food

You will become another person

You will reenact Monty Python movies on a castle tower that you built

You will go on a quest for pirate gold

You will wear 50 pound armour

You will walk many times around the town square

You will wear a sword

And then you will sleep hard....
After a day at the Ren Faire.

A Day in My Life

What is this?

Besides being an absurd amount of plastic toys

it is also the box that Xia threw up in last night.

And what about this?

Besides being a ridiculously over loaded and dirty washing machine,
it is also Diezel's bedding that he peed all over last night.

Good morning!
I am so grateful today.
Really I am.
Xia used to throw up almost every night at bedtime. It has been quite awhile since she has. Last night was a huge reminder of how far she has come. Wahooo! Thank you Lord for all you have done in her life.
And why am I grateful for the full washer?
Because it could be empty and Diezel could have never joined our family.
I welcome the never ending laundry.
That's the way it should be for a family of 8.

Now off to hand wash every single small plastic toy.
*Maybe I'll send some your way Donna C.*
JK.

500 Miles

500 miles.
The distance I will be driving and running next weekend.
Diezel, Xia and myself are going to Iowa.
Why?

I decided at the last moment to join the Water 4 Christmas 4 mile run/walk to raise money for water!
Yep.
496 miles of driving-
to run only 4 miles.
Which is big,
because I hate running!
But...
I love water.
Actually I love Africa and what clean water can do.
Bottom line.
Clean water saves lives.

The entrance fee to run is only $20.
(which can bring 1 person clean water for 20 years)
But you know me.
I am not content with $20 and 1 person.
And if I'm traveling 500 miles....
Why then
should I not bring $500 dollars with me?
$1.00 for every mile.
25 people would have clean water for 20 years!
or
12.5 people clean water for 40 years
(which happens to be about the average life span)

I have raised $120.
I have less than a week until I leave.
Will you sponsor a mile or two?

You can donate http://water4christmas.com/index.html
or
I will take the donation with me to Iowa.
And I will have Diezel and Xia give it for you with big smiles on their faces.
Even at 3 years of age they know what water means.
Every day Diezel asks me, "Wawa momma? Wawa? I get wawa today?"
Just let me know if you need my address or if you're donating online so I can track how close we are to $500 for 500 miles.

Oh yeah-
It's not too late to sign up and run.
I would love to meet you there!

Beautiful Girl (Day 16)

McKayley spent a huge part of the first few years screaming a lot. Screaming that her socks hurt. Screaming if her clothes fit different. Screaming at her car seat straps. Then she spent the next few years crying a lot. Crying at noises. Crying if she was touched. She would just run into a dark corner and cry. When we would ask her what's wrong, she would just cry out, "I don't know". We felt helpless a lot. Adam and I spent many nights staying up all night trying to brain storm about what to do. We would often just fall on our knees at night praying over her while she slept.
We would pray for peace in her heart. We would pray for her to be able to communicate with us.
We would pray for wisdom on how to love her like she needed.
We prayed a lot.
In the last two years she has grown into an incredibly loving, caring, peaceful and beautiful 10 year old girl. She brings joy to our hearts. Watching her change before our eyes has been one of the most amazing experiences. To see the power of prayer work in your child's life in such a real and tangible way is something that is hard to put into words.
I am so grateful to be her mother.

Stolen Words(Day 15)

I didn't ask my sister in law if I could steal this,
But I couldn't resist waiting to hear if it was okay to post.

She wrote a beautifully humble and insightful post.
I am continually encouraged by her.

Here is just a small part of what she wrote-

That's what the Christian faith is all about. The world looks at us and sees a lack of perfection & therefore a bunch of hypocrites. The believer looks in the mirror and sees a filthy rag who desperately needs a Savior day after day.

Today on day 15-I am grateful for truth. His truth that was shared through Leah.

"Real Friends" Day 13

Here I am on day 13 of my In Every Thing Give Thanks Trial

I was having a hard time trying to blog tonight. As I was trying to gather my thoughts together for day 13, I jumped on to facebook. I was met by one of my best friends-Amy. I met her through Jody who found me through Hollyann who ran Addy's Hope when I was trying to adopt Marion and Emmanuel in Liberia, after reading a post on a yahoo group from Emily.

Amy

hey there

7:27pmAmy

whats up foxy lady?

7:28pmSteffany

Trying to blog. no fun when things are stuck upstairs

7:28pmAmy

stuck?

7:29pmSteffany

you know when your written word doesn't come out.

7:29pmAmy

ah.. upstairs, like your head.. not like, upstairs.

7:30pmSteffany

Umm...no. I keep all my words up a flight of stairs locked in an attic

7:30pmAmy

me too.. that is why i was confused.

:)

7:30pmSteffany

guest blog for me.

7:30pmAmy

uh, no

7:30pmSteffany

write a day 13 grateful post!

come on!

PLEASE~!!!!!!!!!

7:31pmAmy

"i am grateful that i have amazing blog friends, who, by the way, are REAL friends... you know, the kind of people who love you for what is inside your messed up world.. not the kind who pretend to care about you when they say hi in the grocery store parking lot."

7:32pmSteffany

you know i'm going to blog this!

Then we moved our conversation to skype.

I'm grateful for all my "real" friends out there. Out of the list above- I have now met Hollyann. I met her after I drove to Texas to help at a booth we created materials for to support Addy's Hope. While I was there I briefly met Emily on Hollyann's doorstep. About a year later I met Jody at the Orpan Summit. She got stuck with me as a roommate-She brought it upon herself though after inviting me- She might still be recovering:) And as for Amy?! She still continues to be one of my best friends that I have yet to meet.

Pumpkins, New Friends, and Daddy/DaughterTime

Giant Pumpkins

Late night cuddling.

New Friends

Best Buddies

Day 10

I hate it when I allow anger to cloud my mind. It's like a thick smog that hovers over a city. You are breathing it and it affects you, but you don't see it. Only when you are above it can you see how disgusting it is.

Yet in my anger I'm keenly aware of how much I desperately need God. And i am eternally grateful that He takes me where I am.

Day 9

I am grateful for this man.
He is my best friend.
.

Big Messes (Day 8)

If you cook dinner then you know the shear mess that follows preparing a meal night after night for your family.

I'll be honest-
I'm either sitting back and savoring this family ritual
or
I'm stressed and thinking about clean up as I'm eating.
With 6 kids (three of them toddlers) our dinner is best described as one big, chaotic, loud mess.
We never lack things to talk about, spills to clean, or dinner drama, but it's family.
My family.
My big messy family.
One day the mess will be gone.
It will be quiet.
The dinner drama a memory.
And
I know I will miss it.
So today on Day 8 of my In Every Thing Give Thanks 30 Day Trial
I am grateful for the 2+ hours of my life that was spent
preparing
eating
and
cleaning up
the mess that we call call dinner.

Unexpected Struggle (Day 7)

I wasn't expecting to feel so discouraged during the 30 day In Every Thing Give Thanks Trial. Especially after my day 3 epiphany. I don't know if I'm struggling because I've been on antibiotics for 2 weeks, having the worst menstrual period of my life, running daily fevers while trying to run a home, parent 6 kids, be a loving wife or I'm struggling simply because that's what we do as women. We struggle. I think where my innateness fails me is assuming struggle is bad. Our nature is to make "things just right". I often have running dialogues in my head and visions of the way my day is suppose to play out. Rarely does anything EVER go the way my mind pictures things. So here's the problem- when reality and my "reality" don't match up then comes the disappointment. I often wrap my happiness or my gratefulness in how I feel. Then on top of that I allow guilt to take root. Guilt because I know my circumstances or how I feel should NOT dictate my heart. I know this. I believe this, but yet I still do it.Where does this leave me? Right back at the beginning of realizing the innate struggle we or I have as a woman is to think that struggle is bad and then have the faith to know that it is not only essential but beautiful.

So tonight
I am thankful for my pain.
I am grateful for my struggle.
I know it is good.

BTW- It is not too late to join in on the experiment.
The stories that I have read from the women that are participating have blessed my days.
I have links to their blogs on the upper left corner. Check them out!